What you need to do to become a merciful person. What is mercy and how to develop this quality in yourself

The Gospel description of the Last Judgment (see: Mt. 25:31-46) contains a very important truth: justification or condemnation is carried out according to the principle of our attitude towards people, namely: whether we were merciful to others. By showing participation or, on the contrary, indifference to a suffering person - and each suffering person carries the image of God in himself - we thereby build our inner attitude towards God: “because you did it to one of the least of these My brothers, you did it to Me” (Matt. 25:40).

The gospel, therefore, unequivocally testifies: whoever sees those in need and does not do everything in his power to help, he himself deprives himself of the hope of grace-filled fellowship with Christ. “Whoever misses an opportunity to do good,” explains St. Nikodim the Holy Mountaineer, “he not only loses the fruit of goodness, but also offends God. God sends someone in need to him, and he says: "Come later." Although he speaks to a man, it is the same as God who sent him. God will find another kind person, and the one who refuses will answer for himself.

This is the simplest way in which we can become like God. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36). Not everyone is capable of acquiring lengthy, attentive prayer, keeping fasts in accordance with the Rule, gaining the deepest humility or meekness, having a prudent attitude to life, or, even more so, ascending to the heights of spirituality. O zheniya. And compassion for others is available to everyone.

At the same time, when we talk about mercy, it is important to remember that the word “mercy” means not just an act, but a special spiritual disposition. Mercy is empathy and compassion, a heartfelt desire to help the needy. For the merciful, every suffering person is dear and close. Moreover, with genuine mercy, a person gives what is his to another and rejoices.

The Prologue tells how the following pious custom was observed in one monastery from ancient times. Every year on Maundy Thursday, the poor, widows, orphans came to the monastery from all the surrounding places and took from the common property of the monks the prescribed amount of wheat, a small amount of wine and honey, and five copper coins each. So they spent the bright Resurrection of Christ without need and in joy.

Once there was a crop failure, and the price of bread rose enormously. Although the brethren had enough food supplies, they thought that the alms of the donors for the time of crop failure would stop, and suggested that the rector this year break the pious custom and not give wheat to the needy. For a long time the virtuous rector did not agree to the request of the brethren. “It is a sin to violate the charters given to us by the holy founder of the monastery,” he said, “it is a sin not to hope that the Lord will nourish us.” But since the brethren resolutely declared that they did not want to feed others to their own detriment, he answered with spiritual sorrow: “Do as you like.” And the poor, who came to the monastery with hope, returned from there in despair.

But on Holy Saturday, the monastery dean went to the granary to give out pure flour for bread. As soon as he opened the door, he felt a bad smell: all the wheat was so rotten that he had only to throw it into the river. The brethren were surprised, regretted their action and did not know what to do; and the pious abbot, calmly looking at the spoiled bread, said: “Whoever transgresses the commandment of the holy father, the founder of the monastery, does not rely on the Providence of God and does not have mercy on the poor, he must certainly be punished for disobedience. You spared five hundred measures and destroyed five thousand ... From now on, know whether you should trust in God or in your barns.

It is vain to think that one can be happy without helping others. There will never be joy in your heart if you turn away from your neighbors, refuse to help them and think only of yourself. Our soul longs for goodness and love not only from someone else, it has a need to open up to people, to bring them light and warmth. Therefore, when you do good, then you yourself become happy. A person who does not love his neighbors, who does not wish good to other people, is a flawed person. And one more thing: this man is deeply unhappy.

But even if we help a suffering person only because we see a pitiful creature in him, then our mercy is pagan. We also throw a piece of bread to the animal when we see that it is hungry. But the holy righteous John of Kronstadt says: "Know that yours is always insignificant in comparison with a person, this child of God." Christian mercy sees in the needy the image of God, albeit trampled upon by earthly vicissitudes. So we have no right not to help.

Here it is important to understand that everyone who suffers grief is God's chosen one, who is given to carry his life's cross, which, perhaps, we are not capable of. Helping such a person, we share his sorrow with him, but in the end we become partners in the election of God allotted to him.

Alas, in life one constantly has to observe the opposite situation. We do not want to be kinder and more merciful to each other. They are always dissatisfied, irritated, in relation to their neighbors they are precise in formalities: it is impossible, it is not supposed, it is not allowed. Moreover, while showing cruelty to others, we often want and seek to be treated condescendingly and kindly. We are reluctant even in a small way to meet our neighbors, and in our personal lives we strive to occupy a position in which others would be obliged to help us.

A familiar vice-rector of a theological seminary told how, having assumed an administrative position, he was faced with the need to lead others. Actually, administrative work involves constant control, demands, organization of others for work. The whole life of an administrative person turns into incessant instructions to others what and how to do, into penalties: why didn’t you do it or did it wrong? It leaves an imprint on the personality. But one day, when he was filling out an insured event due to damage to the car, he was informed by mobile phone that the student had agreed to sign the rector on the document, in three hours he would take the train with the documents, and the rector unexpectedly left the seminary. The only one who can still sign is the Vice-Rector. But he sits in the department of insurance claims and thinks about how to correctly file the damage, which for some reason the police did not write down everything in the protocol. The distance between them is such that the student will still be late if he goes to him first. The right decision was not born immediately. Although it was evening time and there was a child with the vice-rector who still had to prepare lessons, he decided to go to the station to meet the student at the train.

The seminarian was obviously late, and, standing on the platform, my friend began strenuously that the Lord would help. There were only a few minutes left before departure. He bought a fountain pen, which, as always at such moments, was not in his briefcase, in order to immediately sign the document. The miracle did not happen - the train left. The student came running only after three minutes, but during this time the vice-rector managed to think over what to do so that the student would not have a shock. Immediately took him to take the ticket. I immediately found out that in two hours there was another train in the same direction. Surprisingly, only one seat was free. I had to add money to buy a ticket. But in the end, everything turned out well. This means that the Lord helps us in everyday situations, but especially helps when we ourselves strive to participate in the lives of others.

The author of these lines knows many priests who help others free of charge. And these priests always experience joy, as if they do not give, but acquire themselves. Mercy always brings breadth and spaciousness to the soul, the merciful one goes beyond the narrow confines of inner self-isolation, finds freedom and joy of the heart in doing good for others, while selfishness always impoverishes life.

The egoist, like a thief, hides from others in order to snatch only for himself - he is unhappy and miserable in self-interest and, like a mole, digs holes in the earth, away from the light, as if trying in advance to equip his own grave with accumulations.

But after all, man is a being with such deep spiritual needs that cannot be satiated by self-interest. The possession of earthly treasures will never give happiness to anyone if they are not shared with others. St. Maximus the Confessor expresses this truth in this way: "Mine is what I give to others." Because the heart rejoices only by opening itself up to meet its neighbors, and not shutting itself up. Our well-known fabulist Ivan Andreevich Krylov presented this figuratively in the fable "The Doe and the Dervish", concluding:

Yes, true goodness
He does good without any reward:
Who is good, the excess is a burden,
If he does not share them with his neighbor.

There are people who, according to the word of Scripture, “will not sleep unless they do evil” (Prov. 4:16). But there are also people who cannot sleep if they have not done good to someone. Among the saints who became famous for their special care for the poor, Patriarch John of Alexandria, nicknamed the Merciful, enjoys the greatest reverence. He spent all his money on helping the unfortunate, remaining himself in extreme poverty. Once, a noble resident of Alexandria gave him an expensive blanket, asking him to use this gift without fail. Indeed, St. John covered himself with a blanket at night, but the thought that it would be possible to help the unfortunate with money with an expensive thing did not give him rest. In the morning, John sent to sell a blanket, and distributed the proceeds to the poor. The giver saw his blanket in the market, bought it and brought it back to Saint John. But the saint of God acted in the same way even before evening, in order to fall asleep peacefully. When the giver brought the blanket for the third time, Saint John said: “I will always sell this thing that I don’t need; We will see who is the first of us to stop doing his own thing.

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov once correctly said: “It is necessary that behind the door of every contented, happy person there should be someone with a hammer and would constantly remind you by knocking that there are unfortunate people, that, no matter how happy he is, life will sooner or later show he will have his claws, trouble will strike - poverty, loss, and no one will see or hear him, just as now he does not see or hear others.

Who will remind behind the door of the soul of each person with his knock of the need to do mercy? This should be, first of all, our conscience. The very essence of a person is determined by what he is alone with his conscience.

And here is how the righteous saint warns us: “Be attentive to yourself when a poor person in need of help asks you for it: the enemy will try at this time to cover your heart with coldness, indifference and even neglect to the needy; overcome these non-Christian and inhuman dispositions in yourself, arouse compassionate love in your heart for a person like you in everything, and whatever the needy asks you, fulfill his request according to your strength.

Already in his school years, he could not pass by a beggar, so as not to give him. If there was nothing to give, he always said: "I'm sorry." Once Gogol even remained in debt to a beggar woman. To her words: “Give for the sake of Christ,” he replied: “Reckon me.” And the next time she turned to him with the same request, he gave her twice, explaining: "Here is my duty."

In the Holy Scriptures, the refusal of alms is unequivocally regarded as a sin (see: Deut. 15: 7-9). And about almsgiving itself, it is said that when it is given, “your heart must not grieve” (Deut. 15:10). “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:42). And although there are those who ask who have turned poverty into a craft, it is not our business to sort out every time where and for what our alms will go. “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy” (Matt. 5:7), says the Savior, without discussing any conventions.

In order to learn Christian mercy, we can offer several rules:

1. Serve, albeit a little, but with. You don't have to give everything you have. Give at least a little, infringe on yourself in the smallest, but only without irritation to the person: not brushing off the poor as from an annoying fly, but wishing him well.

2. Be sure to help those people whose poverty of life you are reliably aware of - relatives, employees, acquaintances.

3. Do not condemn the poor who ask for food, but, as you think, would be able to work themselves or allegedly use your alms for no good. Everyone will answer for himself.

4. Finally, do not give alms out of a desire for praise, for the sake of visible prestige, ranking, or even just a report. Such people “already receive their reward” on earth, remaining without the reward of the Heavenly Father (see: Mt. 6:1-2).

According to St. John Chrysostom, mercy has various images. There are deeds of bodily mercy: to feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to clothe the naked or lacking the necessary clothing, to visit the sick, to take a stranger into the house, etc. And there are spiritual deeds of mercy, which are as much higher as the soul is higher than the body. The deeds of spiritual mercy, for example, are as follows: to turn a sinner from error, to teach the unbeliever truth and goodness, to give good advice to a neighbor in difficulty or danger he does not notice, to console the sad, not to repay evil with evil, to forgive offenses from the heart.

You can help with a warm prayer for him. We do not always have money with us, but prayer, as the holy fathers say, is always with us. Moreover, it is in vain to think that by providing only material assistance to another, you have fulfilled your Christian duty, as if paying off the requirements of the Gospel. The Savior calls us to raise everyone to union with God: “Let them all be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You, so they too may be one in Us” (John 17:21). Prayer paves the way.

Prayer unites, graciously binds together all those for whom we say our prayers before the Lord. Therefore, prayer is an opportunity to do good to people always and everywhere.

In prayer there is no division into far and near, into enemies and friends, because in the prayerful requests of a Christian everyone is placed before the All-Seeing God, and everyone is called to His eternal Kingdom.

But prayer is only prayer when it resonates in the heart of the one who prays, when the soul burns with the desire to give others eternity, to ask the Lord for this priceless gift for others, and therefore prayer from the heart is always a triumph of love and kindness, it is the beginning of victory over hostile feelings, malice and hatred.

Prayer is asking for mercy from the Lord. Praying from the heart for someone means feeling someone else's pain and reaching out to the needy, as if to take his burden, so that he himself becomes easier.

So, many means of mercy have been offered to us, and although the specific choice remains ours, one thing is certain: every step towards another, every good deed, almsgiving, selfless help and prayer for our neighbors will find their justification, adorn the soul of a merciful person and make his life more joyful and happy.

What is mercy, in what human actions it is manifested - is a topical issue. The modern world has a rapidly developing technological revolution that has simplified the daily life of each of us. In the race for personal benefits, other people's problems imperceptibly flash, but who wants to stop, give a helping hand to someone in need of support, because everyone has their own worries.

Mercy - what is it?

The kindness of the heart, taking on other people's suffering and problems, the desire to lend a helping hand, regardless of the guilt or innocence of a person - this is what mercy means. The basis of love for one's neighbor, the presence of which helps to save lives and solve other people's problems, to show understanding, to help another - to save one's neighbor from difficult circumstances. Character traits closely related to mercy:

• compassion;
• sympathy;
• goodwill;
• care;
• unselfishness;
• understanding;
• condescension;
• humanity.

What is mercy - moral, in which a person shows gratuitous guardianship to his neighbor, having spent his own resource - time, money, health. By showing mercy, a person can receive an undeserved reproach (moral insult) in the eyes of others who take mercy for showing undeserved respect or elementary stupidity.

Mercy in Christianity

In religion, mercy is an important virtue, indicating that showing concern for one's neighbor is showing love for the Lord and that each person is "created in the likeness of God." Forgiving love, expressed in Christian mercy, it can be manifested in relation to the soul and body of the needy. Good Christian deeds, the manifestation of which saves the human soul:

• screw the sinner from delusions;
• not enlightened give a lesson in kindness and truth;
• give wise advice to those in difficult circumstances or danger;
• give comfort to those who are in sorrow;
• do not respond with evil to an evil deed;
• forgive offenders;
• pray for your neighbors.

Deeds of bodily mercy to the neighbor:

• feed the hungry;
• to drink the thirsty;
• clothe the naked;
• visit the patient
• visit the prisoner in the dungeon;
• shelter a wanderer;
• bury the deceased.

What is mercy for?

The desire to live in a world filled with joy and pleasant relationships is inherent in man. Mercy and kindness are the foundation of harmonious relations in many religions and ancient cultures; the works of philosophers are devoted to them. It is easy to build relationships in society on the principle of justice by analyzing the mistakes of another person, but such a position makes it impossible to receive indulgence in difficult times.

To receive help without requiring repayment in return - to develop spiritually, to contribute to changes for the better, to bring goodness into the world, to give joy. No one knows at what difficult moment his need for help will arise, who will be nearby will do a merciful deed, regardless of social status or past mistakes. It is always nice to tear a piece of kindness and care from the heart.

What does it mean to be merciful?

To be merciful means that the benefit directed to another person is given free of charge - not for general praise, public recognition or subsequent thanksgiving. Mercy calms the conscience - the person did not reject the given chance to lend a helping hand, but, by virtue of his ability, eased the life circumstances of the person in a bad state of affairs. Mercy extinguishes anger, suppresses selfishness, and this is an opportunity to accumulate spiritual wealth:

• wisdom;
• joy;
• ease of communication;
• sincerity;
• philanthropy.

What do you need to do to become merciful?

Mercy and compassion, done anonymously, is considered the highest degree of virtue. The manifestation of such qualities is not an easy task - to take away one's own means and forces to help a stranger, a generous act worthy of respect. The basic principles of a merciful attitude are based on love for one's neighbor, care shown and assistance rendered. Being merciful means:

• forget about personal gain;
• make concessions forgetting the wrongs caused;
• be able to listen;
• suppress fear (when coming to the hospital not to think that you can get sick);
• donate money to those in need (an affordable share of the funds, insignificant for the person giving);
• find an hour for other people's problems (visit relatives and friends - the elderly, the disabled, orphans);
• help in simple everyday matters (show the address, warn about the danger, give a hint to solve the problem, help a person with disabilities).

Why should a person be merciful?

The problem of mercy and lack of love for others entails suffering in the surrounding world and human hearts. The principle of personal gain - to create comfortable conditions for oneself, regardless of the problems of other people - amuses self-esteem and multiplies selfishness. Being merciful means taking an active part in solving other people's problems, multiplying kindness, giving love, changing the world for the better. Remembering the phrase of the Chinese sage Lao Tzu about mercy, one can say in his words: “Whoever takes, fills the palms, who gives, fills the heart.”

Mercy in the modern world

Love and mercy are notions related to each other in religion. Deeds done to alleviate the suffering of another, expressed without love, are a feeling of pity, sometimes reinforced by reproaches and cold calculation. Mercy in our lives, shown with love, strengthens spiritually, gives hope for changes for the better, saves lives in difficult times, gives peace of mind, teaches that a good deed is certainly higher than an evil one.

Is mercy necessary in our time?

Mercy in our time is a mirror showing the moral character of a person. The modern world is filled with contrasts, the social status that separates people shows that it is easier for the poor and the simple to share the suffering of the needy, because they are familiar to him. The rich and noble don't care about other people's basic worries and problems, even if he is able to help and solve problems for thousands of people.

It's not always easy to be kind in a world that can get frustrating quickly, but if you make the effort to have more mercy in your daily life, you can start to change for the better. Here's how to do it.

Part 1 of 3: Be Kind to Others

1. Thank people for their efforts. One of the most important qualities of a merciful person is the ability to thank people for their efforts, no matter how big or small they are. Even if a colleague is just calling you to say something, thank them for their efforts. If a friend grabs your coffee or reminds you that your favorite show is up later, say "thank you" to them.

A big part of being kind is being able to appreciate what people do for you. How do you show your appreciation? You say "thank you".

2. Be a good listener. Merciful people don't focus on their problems, they care more about other people. Make an effort to really hear what the person is saying to you. Don't interrupt people and keep your questions to the end so that the person can finish, let him feel that you really care about him.

Don't forget the details of what the person says so you can come back to them later. If someone mentions that his sister just had a baby girl, the next time you see him, you can ask how his little niece is doing; the person will be pleasantly surprised that you remember this.

Show empathy. If the person is upset, you can say, “I can't imagine what you've been through. It must be so difficult because…” Let the person see that you really heard what he told you.

3. Pay attention to others. Being merciful means paying attention to people in social situations. Instead of worrying about who to talk to or what to say next, you should be monitoring other people's feelings and moods to see if they are worried or anxious and understand how they interact with each other. It is important to notice what they think and others feel.

A merciful person understands that other people are just as important as he is. That is why it is so important to pay attention to them.

4. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Merciful people do not look for ways to humiliate a person, criticize him or make him feel like a small fry. They do exactly the opposite. Even if they are unsure of a person's intentions, they try to stick to positive things and imagine that people also want the best for everyone. Instead of gossiping or saying something negative about a person you don't know, imagine that they are a good person, just like you.

If you get in the habit of doing this, you'll have a sort of reputation for being a charitable person rather than a banal gossip, and people will want to spend even more time with you.

5. Compliment others. Merciful people always look for the good in people and therefore invest in making others feel good. Not because it will make people "bigger", but in the most direct, genuine way, it will make them want to trust you in return. Look around. Compliment not only the most obvious things, but also the things that people work hard at.

If you don't feel like giving a compliment, don't do it just to appear nice. But if you make a habit of praising people, you'll be better able to navigate the moments when people really deserve a compliment.

6. Have mercy instead of victory. If you want to be charitable, then remember that it is more important for everyone to be happy than for you to be right. Instead of proving your point, arguing with the person next to you (even if you're sure you're right), you should be kind to them, change the subject, or say something like, "I think we should just agree." . Swallowing your pride may not be fun, but no one argues that this is the only way to look good. There's nothing merciful about that, is there?

If you really have the urge to argue with or correct someone, just count down from ten and tell yourself that it's really worth it. What will you get from this?

7. Let other people talk. Do you really have to post everything that's on your mind all the time? Most likely, others also have something to say. If you and someone else start talking at the same time, insist that your competitor be first. Ask lots of questions instead of talking about yourself and show that you are really interested in people. This does not mean that you need to turn into a shy quiet person if that is not who you really are. It simply means that you should let other people do the talking instead of being the center of the conversation.

If two people are arguing in front of you, please change the subject.

8. Let others be first. To be merciful is to say "after you" in the literal and figurative sense. If you want to be charitable, you must give someone else the right to order ice cream before you decide to kill your chocolate craving, or else you let the car turn around in front of you.

This does not mean that you should let people walk in front of you all the time. This means that you must give in to others when it is reasonable.

Part 2 of 3: Developing Compassionate Qualities

1. Be humble. Merciful people are always humble. They don't brag about how big or showy they are; instead, they act modestly and wait for other people to celebrate their accomplishments. They don't call attention to themselves, they are in awe of the big and complex world, and they don't walk into a room like they own the place. If you want to be humble, then just be and don't brag about it.

Always trust other people. If someone says that you did a great job on a project, say that you couldn't have done it without the help of your other colleagues.

2. Be respectful. Treat other people with kindness and respect, even if they don't always deserve it. Be punctual if you said you were going to be somewhere at a certain time. Hold the door for people. Don't text your friends or get distracted when you should be fully focused on the other person. Look straight in the eye, don't swear, and treat people kindly, regardless of their social status or their position.

Treat people with respect no matter what they can do for you.

3. Be tactful. This means not saying anything offensive, out of the ordinary, or just plain weird. Tactful people think before they speak, and they are quite careful if they have to say something unpleasant, as if they had to tell a person that he has something stuck in his teeth. Understand what you are saying and also how you say it. This means that your comment may be misinterpreted due to your tone or the words you use.

Use tact. Use words so that they do not cause a stir. If you know you're walking with two people who have opposing views on the rule of the president, don't bring that topic up in the conversation.

4. Be generous. Generous people are capable of giving, whether it be their time, their money, or their love and kindness. Be the person who is always looking for a way to help others, whether we're talking about your closest friends or complete strangers who need help. Be generous with your time. Of course, helping a friend clean up the apartment will not be very pleasant, but he will appreciate your help, since he was overwhelmed by these dumps in the apartment after the divorce.

Being generous means acknowledging opportunities when you can help. Your sick friend may not say that he would be very happy if you brought him chicken soup for lunch, but that does not mean that he will not appreciate it.

5. Learn to accept compliments. It is important to receive compliments correctly if you really want to be charitable. Say "thank you" to people for their compliments and show how much their words mean to you. You shouldn't downplay them and say you don't deserve it; pretending to be overly modest can start to annoy people a little.

If you can return the compliment, that would be great.

6. Handle criticism appropriately. Merciful people know how to handle criticism, constructive or not. If the criticism is constructive, then you should see value in it, learn something from it, and make a plan to change or improve the quality you were criticized for. And if the criticism is only meant to offend you, you can let it roll down your back and be taller without saying something negative about the person in return.

7. Be grateful. Kind people act in their own way because they know how to count their blessings instead of focusing on the hardships they have to face. They know exactly what they should be grateful for, whether it be their health, their friends, their family, and/or their opportunities, and they never forget any of these things for a second.

If you really feel like you're in a dump somewhere, it will help to write a thank you list. It can include all the things you are grateful for, and you can add points to it whenever something happens to you. May you have time to read this list and smile. It can make you feel more grateful no matter how bad your day was.

Part 3 of 3: Do your best

1. Get involved in volunteering. Give your time to people who really need it. Do this at least once a week and see how much you can do for the people around you and how much they can change your life for the better. You have to do it voluntarily, because you really feel the difference, how much kinder you become when you see the problems that others are having.

You will see that the people you help will help you as much as you help them. Volunteering can make you feel more grateful for all the benefits you have and give you a fresh perspective.

2. Do favors for other people. If you really want to be merciful, you must not only help your friends when they really need you; you should say thank you to them just because they were good friends or because you know they need a little encouragement. Cook dinner for your friends, help with the laundry, or take your car to work when their car breaks down. Help your mom clean the floor. You will become more compassionate.

If you have a good relationship, you will receive some favors in return and you will feel happy.

3. Admit your mistakes. Merciful people know that they are not perfect and are willing to admit their shortcomings. Whether you said something hurtful to a friend or messed up at work, it's important to acknowledge that you're not perfect and set yourself the goal of improving yourself next time. It is much more important to admit your shortcomings than to deny them in order to save face and look tough. Of course, it will be unpleasant, but you will be more kind, and people around you will respect you more if you admit your mistakes and apologize for them.

4. Write "thank you" on cards. Sending these cards to people is another great way to show your appreciation. Say "thank you" to your teachers, colleagues, or other important people who make your life better and make it a habit. You don't even have to be so formal: thank your best friends, your significant other, or even your neighbors for helping you through a difficult time. Try sending at least one thank you card each month and you'll be even more aware of all the things you should be grateful for.

5. Show people that you really care about them. It makes people feel important. Get good grades to show your teachers that you respect them and follow their good teaching rules. Follow your parent's advice on what to do and listen to their opinion. Do things that make you and other people feel great. They will feel important because you took the time to learn from them.

• Smile and appreciate everything around you.
• Offer to help younger siblings with their homework, comfort them when they're sad, or play with them when they're bored. They will appreciate it and will maintain a good relationship with you.
• Respect your friends. Your friends make you feel uplifted. Try your best to thank them or get together more often to get closer to them.
• If it's your parents' birthday, prepare a gift and a special card to show how much you care about them and that you've taken the time to put things aside and celebrate their birthday.

Warnings

• If you ever fight with your parents, listen to their opinion and try to learn from your mistakes. Never yell or blame them for ruining your life.
• Never lie to get out of a situation. Do your job and let people know that you are an honest person. Be sure to tell the truth in every situation.

Attention! The site administration site is not responsible for the content of methodological developments, as well as for the compliance of the development of the Federal State Educational Standard.

Explanatory note

Recently, the problem of the formation of mercy, kindness, tolerance among students in modern society is most acute. I think that the greatest emphasis should be placed on adolescence, since it is during this period that a person acquires ways and means of competent adaptation in the adult world. The thinking of a teenager still absorbs everything with childish immediacy, but is already capable of competently analyzing situations and drawing appropriate conclusions from it. Now the worldview picture of a teenager is being formed, and everything that he absorbs into himself will determine his position in life and ways of behavior in society in the future.

Relevance is determined by the complexity of the topic, since in modern society, due to economic, educational and spiritual stratification, there is a variety of ideas about a person and his purpose in life. Various parties, organizations, religious denominations, national associations formulate their own, often contradictory goals of education. The question of the goals of upbringing seems to be especially significant now also because the process of forming a new generation of Russian citizens is underway.

Event goals:

• To acquaint students with the concepts of "mercy", "kindness", "tolerance".
• To promote the formation of a tolerant and respectful attitude towards each other and the people around.

Event objectives:

• to develop in students the main features of a tolerant personality, kind, merciful;
• develop a tolerant and respectful attitude towards each other;
• develop the skills of conducting a dialogue on issues of tolerant behavior;
• to promote the formation of an active life position of students, the desire for the full realization of their abilities;
• to form an understanding of the essence of mercy, kindness, sympathy; to bring up the need for students to accept such values ​​as the value of human life, freedom, equality and dignity of people.

The contingent of participants: 1st and 2nd year students.

Expected results:

• the formation of a tolerant consciousness among students, constructive conflict-free behavior;
• education of moral stamina in the most unforeseen situations, sympathy for the elderly, the sick, for our smaller brothers.

Working methods and techniques: problem-search (preparation and performance with presentations), conversation, performance of students with poems, skits, organization of independent cognitive activity.

This event is expedient to carry out after school hours on the 1st and 2nd courses. In preparation for an extracurricular event, students received advanced tasks: prepare materials for messages, select and memorize poems, and prepare scenes.

These tasks are aimed at the formation of cognitive universal learning activities, such as finding reliable information, mastering reading, analyzing and generalizing, proving and drawing conclusions, presenting information in various forms.

This extra-curricular event contributes to the formation of constructive conflict-free behavior, sympathy for parents, the elderly, the sick, animals, the development of moral stamina in the most unforeseen situations, as well as the desire to achieve success in life.

Event duration: 45 min.

Number of participants: 100 people.

Equipment, visibility: multimedia projector, screen, multimedia presentation.

Location: Assembly Hall.

Event progress

slide 1

(Sounds the chorus of the song " create good on all Earth, create good for the benefit of others Not for the beautiful “thank you” to the One who heard you nearby.”)

Leading

Life can be lived differently
You can be in trouble, but you can be in joy,
Eat on time, drink on time
Do stupid things right away.
And it's possible like this:
Get up at dawn
And, thinking of a miracle,
With a hand burned by the sun to get
And give it to people!

Mankind, no matter what times and epochs it lived in, always appreciated the high moral qualities that were brought up in people, were from time immemorial the main provisions of religious commandments. Among them is kindness. What is kindness? What kind of person do we call good? Why is kindness one of the foundations of morality? Let's figure this out.

Students' responses.

Poetry sounds.

slide 2

Gusev Yura (TVET 16.01)

Good people

Where fate failed
She squinted harder and angrier,
Hunger, frost stained,
My mom used to say:
- The world is not without good people.

Thinking like a miracle
In those fateful years
How many of you good people
Good in essence,
It always happened around here!

Blizzards hit everyone
Troubles equally threatening
But from someone else's loss
You couldn't take
Aside your eyes.

Life beat and crushed me
And in its circle
Just didn't let me breathe
But it didn't stop me from seeing
The world is not without good people.

How I want in the world
Next to my soul
The word, not thrown to the wind,
Someone, at least someone would have noted:
The world is not without good people.

I. Lyapin

slide 3

Kalenysheva Anna (515-516)

Sow good more often
He will be remembered from above somewhere.
Then it will return to you
Like a ray of hope.

slide 4

For all the time that we are
We have to try hard
Warm with kind words
Who will really need them.

And if a person is sad and wilted,
Then immediately you come to him
And in this difficult sad moment,
Say beautiful and kind words.

And we must give the old people
Hope - the one that they need!
Always have to support them -
Life is beautiful after all!

A sick soul with a kind word
Easy and simple to heal.
Then and under the cover of night
The sun will shine on us

Let's do good to everyone!
Let it be daily
Will try to pay back
Kind to you people without fail!

slide 5

Kindness doesn't take much
No money or gold needed.
All you need for kindness
The soul is rich in warmth and faith.

Slide 6 - 7

Leading. The meaning of the word "kindness" Kindness is the desire to help people, and without demanding gratitude for it. This property of the soul, which allows not to remain indifferent to the troubles of others, to be there when it is so necessary for a person. Kindness is a somewhat abstract concept. Much can be invested in the meaning of this word. At first glance, it is easy to answer the question: what does kindness mean. But at the same time it is difficult. After all, kindness is the basis of such concepts as mercy, empathy, sympathy, selflessness and even heroism. It is love for a person, kindness, the desire to save him that becomes the motivation for a heroic deed.

Slide 8

Leading. Kindness is the willingness to protect the weak and defenseless. The kindness of a child is manifested in his affection for a cat or a puppy, in his care for flowers, the desire to help people in misfortune, kindness must be taught from childhood.

Slide 9

Leading. They say that if there is kindness, sensitivity, benevolence in a person, he has become a person. Vasily Alexandrovich Sukhomlinsky wrote: “If good feelings are not brought up in childhood, you will never bring them up. In childhood, a person must go through an emotional school - a school of good feelings. A person who thinks only of himself and seeks his own benefit in everything cannot be happy.

Slide 10

Leading:

Life needs mercy.
We are poor in mercy.
Some are angry, some are angry.
Someone is in trouble again.
Life needs compassion.
Our souls are like axes...
Too many we hurt with a word,
Forgetting that words are sharp.
A. Dementiev

Leading. How do you understand the word "mercy"?

Leading. Mercy is a principle of behavior based on sympathy, compassion, complicity and willingness to do good, care and help. Of course, we do not always have the opportunity to help, but we must strive for this.

Leading. Here are the words: kindness, mercy, benevolence, humanity, charity, attention to each other. How do you understand them?

slide 11

Leaders (in order).

• Mercy is sympathy, love in action, willingness to do good to everyone, kindness.
• Charity means doing good, helping the poor, the disabled, the old people.
• Kindness - responsiveness, sincere disposition towards people, the desire to do good to others.
• Benevolence - the desire for good, willingness to contribute to the well-being of others, benevolence.
• Humanity - worthy of a person, responsive, humane.
• Attention to each other is a caring attitude.

slide 12

Leading. There are about 30 million elderly people in Russia today... In the life of every person there have always been and will be grandparents. These people devoted their whole lives to work, to raising children, who, having taken over from them, continue what they started.

slide 13

Leading. Older people often feel lonely, even when living with a family. The reason for this is the lack of attention from relatives.

Leading.“Old people have the right to teach and advise. Know how to respect this moral right,” wrote V.A. Sukhomlinsky.

Slide 14

Poem.

Don't hurt lonely old people...

Do not humiliate lonely old people,
Communicate with them only out of decency.
Don't create extra shackles
With its ruthlessly deep indifference.

They are weaker, more defenseless than we are.
Well, it's better to deal with them.
And not they to us, we all owe them all,
For your life, worship today.

They didn't lose that war
They died in it, giving life to millions,
They rebuilt a fallen country
Products received by coupons.

It was they who gave birth to our mothers,
In cold, uncomfortable communal apartments,
And seeing death in the barracks of the camps
Loved life, birches and violets.

Don't hurt lonely old people
Forgive their weakness today.
It's not their fault that the world is like this...
Understand them! And respect old age...

(Dmitry Rubtsov)

slide 15

Leading. An elderly person should feel that his family, children, grandchildren need him.

Leading. Do not offend by words and deeds!

Leading. Be attentive to them!

Leading. Tolerant and exemplary!

slide 16

Leading. V. Sukhomlinsky said: “Think and feel how your actions can affect the state of mind of another person. Do not cause pain, insult, anxiety, hard feelings to other people with your actions, your behavior. Be able to support, help, cheer up a person who has grief. Remember that the same grief can befall you. Don't be indifferent. Indifference is mental blindness.

Slide 17

Leading: To respect others, regardless of differences, to be attentive to others, to take care of all life on our planet - this means to be tolerant. All the words that we have just talked about can be summed up in one word – tolerance.

Slide 18

Leading: Tolerance is tolerance for someone else's opinion, religion, behavior, culture, political views, nationality, that is, it is a manifestation of tolerance, understanding and respect for the personality of another person, regardless of any differences.

Leading: We also need to be able to forgive those who hurt us. Only a kind person can understand and forgive. Forgiveness does not come easy, but the consequences of forgiveness make life easier.

Slide 18

Leading. The consciousness of the good done is already a reward for a person. Just by doing good, you should never expect gratitude. After all, good is done not out of self-interest, but out of love for one's neighbor. To be kind means to do good deeds, to do good to people not for praise, thanks, money, but disinterestedly.

Slide 19

Leading. Psychologists are sure that very often the boomerang principle works in our life: those who helped others will not be left without help themselves. Do good and it will come back to you a hundredfold! In addition, kind people radiate light and warmth that attract others.

Slide 20

Leading: Everyone needs kindness: our relatives and friends, acquaintances and strangers, and even animals!

So kindness, mercy, responsiveness, selfless help - these are not empty words, this is an inner light that says that you have a person with a living soul in front of you.

slide 21

Display of proverbs about Good.

slide 22

Leading. Scientists from the University of Michigan recently conducted an experiment and found that the manifestation of selfless kindness acts on a person like a medicine: it improves health and preserves youth.

(story about the monument to Kindness in Sevastopol)

slide 23

Teacher: And, so, let's summarize: And what gives kindness and mercy to a person? Of course, respect and love of loved ones, good relations with friends and colleagues. But kindness is often shown so disinterestedly that the person who has committed a good deed even remains unknown. For him, the main thing is to help others. For example: "An unknown person transferred a large amount of money for the treatment of a child in need."

Becoming a kind person means having the following basic components of good behavior: a soft, kind heart, sensitivity towards others, and the ability to be unassuming

Do good, and it will definitely return to you, even from the side of sometimes completely strangers to you!

I know there are many things
What would you like to see.
I know there is good and evil
There are those who can be offended!
There are those who hurt you
You can blame the whole world.
Believe me, everyone needs to live, loving.
Believe me, you need to be able to forgive!

On this note, we will end our extracurricular activity.

Nowadays, you can buy almost everything. It is a pity that such a quality as kindness cannot be found on the shelves. But it can be developed. How to do it on your own, says psychologist, radio host and head of the New Horizon center Anetta Orlova.

1. Develop the skills of empathy (empathy). Learn to read other people's emotions and express your sympathy in simple words: "I understand you", "I understand your feelings." Even if at first you do it mechanically, you will gradually begin to feel that you really understand the other person.

2. When you want to say something unpleasant in response to a harsh statement from another person, take a second to put yourself in his place. Try to understand his condition. Look at the situation from the outside, like in a movie. This will help reduce the degree of irritation and respond more kindly.

3. Pump up the "muscle of kindness." Develop the best part of yourself, show care and attention every day. Sometimes this can be expressed in not noticing something, keeping silent somewhere. Do not prove your case at every step! Be careful with the genre of advice, with wishes to get married faster, with empathy for a bad husband. Lamentations like “how do you live with him, so I wouldn’t live” keep to yourself. After talking with you, a person should feel easy, and not vice versa.

4. Every day in the evening, write 3 thanks to those people who helped you with something today: a smile, a word of encouragement or just candy. If you say that there is no one to write to, then you have a negative selective attention, you notice only the bad and ignore the good. In other words, ungrateful.

5. Give communicative gifts to other people. Give compliments and you will see the whole palette of human experiences: from proud acceptance to shy excuses and even refusal to accept your kind words. But even in such a situation, do not stop the practice.

6. Be kind to loved ones. We all know people who are charming for a distant circle, but real monsters for home ones. The temptation to be kind in the eyes of others is very great, because in this case the "dividends" are higher and gratitude is greater. Showing similar feelings towards those whom you encounter every day in the same kitchen and solve common problems is more difficult. And still try: provide support, if necessary. Keep silent, instead of giving advice, if the situation has already been passed and nothing can be changed. Close your eyes to any shortcomings. Do not get annoyed and do not take it out on your relatives, even if the day was not easy.

7. From negative to positive. Negative beliefs and attitudes take away our sense of power and opportunity, and only a strong person can show kindness. It is very important to get rid of the devaluing and angry inner critic who constantly tells you: “where are you going”, “what else do you need”, “I am a loser”, “time has passed”, “I still won’t succeed”, “I need help nowhere”, “enemies around”, “such a man is not for you”, etc.

For each such phrase, you need to come up with a positive alternative belief and write it down on paper. If desired, this list can even be put as a screensaver on your phone.

8. Recall the times in your life when you felt that you were treated kindly, with care. Make a list of such moments in chronology from the present to childhood. Then you can do the following exercise: sit down, relax the whole body (starting with the muscles of the face and ending with the muscles of the hands and fingers). Visualize those situations, enter that state. Watch your breath. It should be even and deep. Every day, live 2-3 situations for 3-5 minutes.

9. Do good things for yourself. Every day. Don't even think about being cruel to yourself.

10. Surround yourself with kind (benevolent) people. If there are those around who always blame, show aggression, humiliate and devalue you, there simply will not be a resource for being kind. When a person is constantly in a state of emotional pressure, all the forces will be spent on overcoming, and anger and resentment will become habitual feelings.