How to learn to control emotions at work. How to Manage Your Emotions and Why It Matters to You

The inability to control our emotions, sometimes, not in the best way affects our relationships with other people. If you want to avoid problems in many areas of life due to the inability to suppress your anger, jealousy and other negative feelings, then we recommend that you use some simple tips.

Managing your own emotions - good or bad

It should be understood that the control of emotions does not mean a ban on emotions in general. We are talking about the upbringing of an internal culture, which, as a rule, characterizes precisely decent and self-confident people. Please note that there is nothing wrong with freely displaying your spontaneous positive emotions, but this should in no way prevent you from suppressing negative manifestations of feelings in special situations.

As you have already understood, control of emotions can be called control, first of all, involuntary emotions, which in turn can be called one of the most important components of a person's self-control. It is also important to understand that control in no way equals prohibition.

If you learn to control your emotions well at the right time, then, of course, this will only play into your hands. When a person is truly mature, he will not complain about the lack of self-control - he diligently develops it. And in general, complaints are the behavior inherent in children and "adult children" who do not want to grow up.

As a result, we can conclude that for a comfortable life in society, control of emotions is still needed. However, for a neurotic and unrestrained person, this will not be easy - in this case, such a task can do more harm than good. Such a person will be even more annoyed, and as a result, the situation may turn out to be worse than it was originally. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that the total inability to restrain oneself refers to mental disorders, no matter how serious it may sound. Perhaps it makes sense to consult a specialist. If you learn to manage your emotions, then there will be no need to control them.

Remember that the spontaneous nature of emotions interferes with our achievement of long-term goals - with our mood swings, we can complicate our own life at the most inopportune moment. It is very difficult to come to the realization of one's true purpose for a person who regularly succumbs to an emotional outburst.

How to learn to control your emotions and manage them

We often get emotional at the wrong time. Not always one of our reactions is an adequate response in a given situation. Probably, you yourself have noticed that in moments of emotional outburst, often, we think much worse than in a calm state. Sometimes, you just need to move away from the situation, but internal impulses simply do not allow it. And yet, a person who has managed to make himself a developed personality understands how useful it is to be able to manage your emotions. Also, for sure, many people understand that an educated person differs from an ill-mannered person in that he is able to control himself, even when it is rather difficult. In general, self-control is very important. What techniques can you use to cultivate self-restraint?

"Hold" your face

This advice is very simple, but has a tremendous effect. Even if a negative emotion has already arisen for you, do not let it show on your face! If you manage to do this, the intensity of emotions will obviously become less.

With some effort, for sure, you will be able to develop the skill of “calm presence” in yourself. As you know, the Indians are famous for the fact that they often skillfully control their emotions - not a single muscle flinches on their face when they are angry, disappointed or surprised. Perhaps, in such a reaction, the true inner strength of a person is manifested. Conclusion: no matter what storms overcome you inside, outwardly you should not demonstrate it.

Breath

In peak situations, it is important to monitor your breathing - when its rhythm changes, the emotional state also undergoes a change. Just calmly inhale and exhale, and your condition will gradually return to normal.

It is highly undesirable to demonstrate your negative emotions in the workplace - this is fraught not only with problems in the team, but, sometimes, with a banal dismissal. However, it is important to note that not only the subordinate, but also the leadership should restrain oneself!

When you are the boss, you need to learn to control yourself emotionally

People who find themselves in leadership positions often cease to adequately evaluate colleagues over time, demanding more from them than they are able or able to give. As a result, an employee who does not live up to expectations falls under emotional fire. Think about it, perhaps in your team there is a similar situation, and you simply demand more from people than they are obliged to do. If this is not at all the case, and you understand that the employee has not coped with his immediate duties, then it is much more effective to reprimand him in a cold and strict tone than to shout.

Ways to deal with emotions when you are a subordinate

The most important thing is not to try on the image of the victim. Sometimes, an employee who is offended by the manager almost “relishes” the painful phrases that he voices. A person does not analyze the spoken words, does not think what caused them - he simply accumulates hatred for the boss. Of course, it is not easy to be neutral towards a person who radiates negativity in your direction, but it is also important to remember that hatred destroys a person, so you should not cherish it. Perhaps, in some similar situation, you are not able to give a worthy rebuff, but you are certainly capable of ignoring. When you realize that the situation has become a peak, just turn off your consciousness. You don't have to prove anything to your opponent. Wait until he speaks out, and only then calmly tell him what you wanted. Do not worry that this will not be timely - this will not cancel the desired effect.

How to become emotionally stable in any situation

Learn to deal with negative emotions and not succumb to them

If you develop the following skills in yourself, then it will be much easier for you to learn how to manage your emotions.

• Attention management. You should pay attention to important, positive things, and try not to focus on the negative.
• Control of facial expressions. In particularly difficult situations, it is advisable to save face and not show that you are overcome by any negative emotions.
• Developed imagination. It helps, if necessary, to distract from unpleasant situations, and “switch” to something else.
• Breath. When you learn to control your breathing, it will be easier for you to calm yourself.

As you already understood, not everyone is able to manage their own emotional state. And in general, not all emotions can be controlled. And yet, each of us can approach the ideal in this sense, if we really want to set ourselves such a task. You can come to this on your own or trust specialists in specialized centers. In the second case, it is important that your mentors have high qualifications, and the centers have a good reputation. To decide on the choice of such an institution, you can read the reviews on the Web.

Remember that our thoughts play a huge role in our life. When we pay attention to the positive aspects, then inside we seem to “start” a positive state. If we focus more on the negative aspects, then we attract more negativity into our lives. Of course, this does not mean at all that you need to ignore life's problems, but learn to treat them constructively: not to be a victim of circumstances, but to look for ways to solve difficulties.

If negative thoughts overwhelm you, try to forcibly switch them, direct them in a positive direction - start thinking about something good, or make some plans that cheer you up. You can simply visualize beautiful pictures in your thoughts - landscapes, loved ones in a festive setting, and so on.

In moments when you are trying to get your emotions under control, you should think about how you benefit from being in a negative state. Often, a person does not realize that fear, anger or resentment is not a natural or natural state at all. In fact, this is our personal choice, and subconsciously we decided that it is beneficial to us in the current situation and solves some of our problems. Until you understand why you chose to experience this state, it will be difficult for you to get rid of it.

Do not suppress or hide your emotions - it is important to be able to control them

As we have already noted, do not forbid yourself to express emotions. We are talking about something completely different - emotions need to be kept under control! Do not give vent to too negative manifestations of feelings, and allow yourself to demonstrate a positive mood. Let's find out what a person who is not able to control negative emotions can lose.

1) Positive state

A person who has been overcome by negative feelings is hardly capable of thinking positively. Having succumbed to the influence of anger, anger, or something like that, he is unlikely to be able to “tune in” to another wave in the near future.

2) Calmness

Sometimes, this is even more important than being positive. A person who is in a calm state is always able to think more soberly than one who is subject to overwhelming emotions.

3) Relationships

Unfortunately, many relationships, which include love, friendship, business, are collapsing due to the fact that someone failed to restrain the flow of negativity in time. Often such behavior undermines trust, kills feelings, which in the end often leads to a break in relations.

4) Reputation

A person who allows himself the frequent manifestation of negative emotions is unlikely to have a reputation as a respected and adequate person. When you don’t know what to expect from the interlocutor or you assume that he may suddenly flare up or something like that, you try to limit communication with him. Gradually, an opinion is formed about a person that does not paint him at all.

5) Control over life

Those who are not able to control their emotions cannot fully control their lives. By succumbing to a sudden impulse, a person can lose a lot or face other unpleasant consequences of his impulse. As a result, the life of such a person develops less successfully than it could.

In general, the list of losses does not end there, but it is already obvious from the points listed above that the lack of control over emotions can sometimes lead to an unpleasant outcome.

Of course, when there are children in the family, the nervous situation in the family may not develop in the best way for their subsequent psychological development. In the presence of children, it is especially important to control your emotions!

Techniques for coping with over-emotionality

identification technique. It can help in some peak situations when you need to control yourself. In such cases, it is useful to imagine yourself not as yourself, but as someone else. You can try on the image of some hero or person that you want to be like in such moments. Accordingly, you should react and act in the same way as the person with whom you identify yourself would do. The method is quite suitable for creative people with a developed imagination.

Self-hypnosis technique. You may well use a simplified self-hypnosis technique. At the right moment, you should say certain attitudes to yourself: “I own myself”, “I am invulnerable and calm”, “Nothing will drive me crazy”, and the like.

Parenting Books on Managing Emotions

If you understand that your family members are not always able to cope with the intensity of any emotions, then, of course, it makes sense to read the literature that teaches you how to cope with the manifestation of negativity.

What books are worth paying special attention to? You may like the methodology that Richard Fitfield offers in his book “Managing Emotions. Creation of harmonious relations. Also a lot of useful information can be gleaned in the book "The New Positive Psychology: A Scientific View of Happiness and the Meaning of Life" (Seligman Martin E.P.). For many parents, the work of Capponi W. and Novak T. “Your own psychologist” or Rainwater J. “It is in your power to help in managing emotions can help. How to become your own psychotherapist.

Emotion management does not need to be presented as a particularly difficult task, however, it should not be ignored either. It is often difficult to achieve the set goal for people who have already missed the moment of the emergence of emotions, did not warn her and the actions of the interlocutors who created these emotions.

It is easy for an experienced specialist to understand whether a person is able to control his emotions by studying his “body language”. If a person is imperturbable, his body is relaxed and collected - he is probably able to master his condition at the right moment. If a person's movements are chaotic, his gaze is uncertain or wandering, then, apparently, it is not easy for him to cope with possible negative reactions. Also, a specialist can give a very disappointing assessment to a person whose body is very tense, clamped, or as if “trembling”. What is meant by the last definition? "Rattle" is characterized by uncontrolled tension running through the body - it can be twitching of the fingers, lips, muscles near the eyes, and so on. These symptoms can be learned to be controlled by practicing "calm presence" which is specifically mentioned in this article.

There is another important condition for managing emotions - you should learn to relax yourself in various conditions and situations. Always make sure that the body is in a calm state - such a skill will provide you with wonderful results.

Some believe that in a love relationship it is not necessary to restrain their emotions, believing that a loved one should accept them "as they are." It is worth noting that for the time being this may happen, but one day a flurry of negative emotions can still kill the feelings of even the most loving partner. At the same time, this happens completely involuntarily - it’s just that a person once realizes that he is tired of unreasonable jealousy, irascibility, aggression, resentment, or other impartial emotions of a lover.

When this critical moment comes, it becomes difficult to correct the situation, and sometimes even impossible. Of course, in order not to lead to such an outcome, it is better to initially value your relationship, and not allow spontaneous negative emotions to destroy the trust and harmony that have developed in a couple. Remember that one thoughtless word can echo in all your subsequent relationships with your loved one.

Don Juan on the control of emotions (Carlos Castaneda "Controlled Stupidity")

The last point will tell you about stalking - a special technique that helps to track down your emotions and feelings in order to keep them under control. In Castaneda's writings, don Juan says that stalking can be called "controlled stupidity." If you have studied English, then you probably know that the word "stalking" comes from the verb "to stalk", which means "to secretly pursue, using various tricks and tricks", and usually refers to hunting. A hunter is called a stalker. Don Juan Matus taught Castaneda how to hunt, first offering to study the habits of wild animals.

The author of the book is convinced that one should not forget about the stalker's method in everyday life. It is obvious that the actions of the stalker, as a rule, are based on observations, and not at all on what he thinks. Often we are unable to distinguish between our ideas and reality, confusing observation with judgment. Meanwhile, when a hunter watches, there is no place in his thoughts for reflection, condemnation, internal dialogue - he simply watches what is happening.

Carlos Castaneda points out our attention to the fact that, at times, we not only do not control our negative emotions, but also indulge them. Many people know what it means to be offended by someone, angry or suffering for many years, without doing anything that could eliminate this condition.

This self-indulgence, weakness, and self-pity don Juan calls a waste of energy, which brings only fatigue and deprives us of many accomplishments. Of course, there is no doubt that a person who indulges in such weaknesses becomes weak himself.

Emotions can be unpleasant, and sometimes scary and depressing. But you must understand that no emotion is inherently "bad". Controlling your emotions does not mean ignoring them or suppressing them, controlling them is learning to accept them and respond to them in a healthy way.

When you learn to control your emotions, not only will you feel more confident and balanced, but your physical health will also definitely improve!

How to control emotions in a particular situation

#1. Try to focus on what's happening

It is very easy to give in to feelings and react irrationally to things that are happening. When you feel yourself sinking into a spiral of uncontrollable emotional reactions, take a mental step back and focus on your physical sensations. This will help you "distract" the mind from the emotions that prevent you from perceiving the surrounding reality.

• If you are experiencing strong emotions, you will also experience various physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate, muscle stiffness, and rapid shallow breathing.
• Consciously watch your physical reactions. Imagine that you are a doctor looking at a patient. For example, if you suddenly feel very anxious, pay attention to what is happening to you: “My heart is pounding very hard and my palms are sweating”, “Sudden dizziness appears”, “My stomach hurts a lot”, etc. Be aware of these feelings and accept them for what they are. Don't try to classify them as "bad" and don't try to get rid of them.
• Consciousness is formed from many information paths that are combined into one. Feeling emotionally overwhelmed can be caused by emotional reactions and experiences that torment you. In the event of any sharp emotional outburst, always focus on one thing, such as smell, touch, or visual perception. This will help your brain process these information pathways more efficiently, avoiding emotional overload.

#2. Concentrate on your breath

When your body experiences strong emotions, a defensive reaction is activated, there is tension and spasm in the body. The brain begins to work on the principle of "attack or flight."

To avoid this, it is necessary to calm the body and mind. That is why deep breathing is recommended in any stressful situation. When you breathe deeply and evenly, oxygen enters the body, which is necessary for relaxation and normalization of mental processes.

• Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach under your ribcage. Take a deep breath in through your nose and count to four. Feel your lungs and abdomen stretch.
• Hold your breath for 1-2 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Try to breathe about 6-10 times per minute.
• If you find it difficult to count to four, you can start with two, gradually increasing the duration. It is important to breathe as deeply as possible.

#3. Use Visualization Techniques

This method helps some people to relax even in stressful situations. It may take you a while to learn how to do this, but once you find the right visualization for you, it will help you deal with stressful situations more confidently.

• Find a "safe place". It can be any quiet and peaceful place, such as the beach, nature, or your bedroom. It should be a place where you feel good and relaxed.
• Close your eyes and imagine this place. Focus on the details and try to remember them as much as possible. What sounds do you hear? What do you see? What do you feel? What do you feel?
• Breathe slowly and quietly. If you feel any tension in your body, get rid of it by gradually relaxing the muscles, through even deep breathing.
• Perhaps imagining such a place at the very beginning will seem rather strange to you, but this is completely normal. Trust that this exercise will help you.
• If you experience some negative emotions while visualizing, you can imagine them as physical objects that you can get rid of from your safe place. For example, you can imagine your stress as a pebble that you can throw from the beach far into the sea.
• Imagine that as soon as you throw away the stone, the stress will leave your body.

How to learn to control your emotions and have them always

#1. Learn to tolerate uncertainty

Uncertainty is not a pleasant emotion for most people. But you need to understand that in modern life you will often face uncertainty in your life. An inability to tolerate uncertainty can lead to constant fear, anxiety, or overdependence on others. This can prevent you from acting in your own interests and doing what you like, because you will be afraid that you will not succeed. Just learn to accept your uncertainty, and after a while you will be able to tolerate it.

How to do it?

1. Start journaling throughout the day. Write down anything that makes you feel insecure or anxious. Pay attention to what happened just before you became aware of these feelings. How did you react to them at that moment, how did you react to it?
2. Write a list of things that make you uncertain. Most people have a number of things that they fear or feel uncomfortable about. Try to rate these things on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, "going out on a date to a new restaurant" is a 2, "going to an audience" is a 9.
3. Start practicing in more familiar situations. Take small steps and gradually get rid of the situations that are on your list. For example, you can go to your favorite and familiar restaurant, but order something that you have never tried before.
4. Write in your diary all about this experience. How did you feel? Did everything go as you hoped? Do you think you might react differently in the future?

#2. Use Proven Calming Techniques

It is important to have as many calming techniques in your arsenal ready to help you when you are under stress. Everyone can have their own methods of calming and controlling emotions. But basically, they should all be aimed at relaxing both the mental state and the physical state. Experiment and find what suits you best:

• Listen to calm music. Especially for such cases, the British Academy of Sound Therapy scientifically prepared a collection of the most calm music in the world. Artists such as Marconi Union or Enyu are represented there.
• Do something calm and repetitive for example, swimming, knitting, rocking in a rocking chair, or simply repeating a mantra helps.
• Get relaxation from tactile sensations. Pet your dog or cat. In addition to focusing on simple touching, regular contact with your favorite animal can also help you get rid of depression.
• Go for a walk and focus on the terrain you are walking on.
• Take a hot shower or bath. The physical warmth will warm you up and relax your whole body.
• Go on a date with yourself. Find a good restaurant where you feel comfortable and order your favorite food. Remember that you deserve to be pampered.

#3. Try to soothe yourself with touch

People need real, warm and lively touch to experience happiness. Pleasant touch releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone that improves mood, relieves stress in people, and induces bonding.

Here are a few techniques that can help you get emotional relaxation:

1. Place your hand on your heart and feel the warmth of your skin. Feel your heart beating and notice how your chest rises as you breathe. Say something positive to yourself, like "I deserve love" or "I'm a good person."
2. Hug yourself. Cross your arms in front of your chest and place your palms on top of your arms. Then squeeze them a little. Pay attention to the sensations that you have. Say positive things to yourself, like "I love myself."
3. Take your face in your hands, as if you wanted to caress and tease a child. Feel the warmth of your hands on your face and say kind words to yourself, such as: "I'm beautiful / oh, I'm cute / oh."

#4. Meditate

Meditation, especially mindfulness training, has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. It can also help you deal with stressful situations better. Regular meditation allows you to learn how to deal with stress more effectively.

You can sign up for meditation classes, find videos online, or try to meditate on your own:

• Find a quiet and peaceful place where nothing will distract you. Sit on a chair or on the floor. Don't slouch because it makes breathing difficult.
• Focus on one element of your breath. It could be the sound of your breathing, the expansion of your lungs as you inhale, or the feeling of deep cleansing breaths. Focus on this element for a few minutes while taking a deep breath.
• Expand your perception to the rest of your body. Pay attention to what your other senses are feeling, try not to focus too much on one sense.
• Accept every thought and every feeling that comes to you. This will help you make sense of your experience.
• If you stop concentrating, focus on your breathing again.
• UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center or BuddhaNet offer free download lessons on meditation. There are also mobile apps that will give you many short free meditation lessons.

#5. Try Situational Thinking Techniques

The basic principle of mindfulness is to accept what you are experiencing in the moment without judging or resisting it. Unfortunately, it's easy to say but harder to do, but when you focus on these techniques, you'll soon learn and get used to them.

Repeat calming things to yourself in emotionally stressful situations. You can say it out loud or to yourself. They should help you calm down.

Try saying the following phrases:

• This feeling will soon pass and I won't feel like this again.
• I need to deal with my emotions.
• I don't mind this moment, even if it's not very pleasant.
• Emotions come and go, I have managed to overcome them in the past.

Tell yourself that you are accepting all the emotions you feel. This may help you believe it. Remember that emotions are a natural part of human life. By accepting them, you will be more likely to learn how to control them in the future.

#6. Seek professional help

Sometimes people may try to control their emotions with all their might, but they still fail. The inability to control emotions can sometimes be an indicator of a more serious problem, a symptom of a mental disorder such as depression.

Finding a good psychologist will help you get rid of useless ways to deal with your emotions and teach you how to deal with your emotions in a healthy and beneficial way.

How to respond to unpleasant emotions

Write down any facts that support or refute the thought processes that triggered these emotions. Start combining all the details and figure out why you reacted the way you did.

Ask yourself the question: “Can I see the situation in a more rational and balanced way than before?” Think about different options. When you think about other possible interpretations, you realize that there are many different scenarios and that jumping to conclusions is not good.

Think about your options. Now that you know what emotions you're dealing with, try to come up with at least two different ways to respond to them.

When you feel there is only one way to react, your emotions will control you, but you must not forget that you always have a choice. For example, if someone insults you and you get angry, the initial reaction is likely to be insulting them as well.

No matter what your emotions are, you have at least two alternatives, and maybe more:

1. Nothing to do. This approach is especially useful if you know someone is trying to annoy you. If you remain calm, the person is likely to get upset and soon stop insulting you.
2. Relax. Yes, it's easy to say but hard to do, but there are ways to relax that don't require hard training, strong will, or experience. When you are angry or unhappy, you clench your jaw and tense up. Taking a deep breath is a simple and effective way to release these accumulated emotions. You will not get rid of the rage, but you can calm down a little so that you don’t say anything and do something that you later regret.
3. Do the opposite of what you normally do. For example, if you always get annoyed when your partner doesn't do the dishes, try doing the dishes instead of fighting, and then go to your partner and calmly tell him that you'd like to get more help around the house.

When deciding what to do, it's important to make conscious choices and not rely on hasty decisions and emotional reactions. For example, when someone insults you and you do nothing, is it your own decision or a reaction to the fear of confrontation?

Try to be guided by one of two aspects:

• Principles - Who do you want to be? What are your moral principles? What result will suit you? What decision would you be most proud of?
• Logic - which solution is most likely to bring you the desired result?

How to choose the best ways to deal with emotions

Think about how your family members struggle with emotional outbursts. Psychologists say that children learn emotional regulation and the ability to control their emotions by observing and imitating the behavior of parents and other family members.

Depending on how close you were with your parents in childhood, in a more mature age, by analogy, you will act in this or that situation, adopting their experience.

When you understand how your loved ones deal with emotions, it will help you understand your current emotional habits and habits. That is, you can see the solution to the problem on a specific example of one of your parents, and judge whether he is doing the right thing or not.

If the approach of a loved one to solving the problem does not suit you, then you are able to do as you see fit. If you think your parents handle stress effectively, then just do as they do. This is the easiest way to deal with the problem.

Although it is best to address this question to an experienced psychologist. Well, if not possible, then try to answer some questions yourself:

1. When you were a child, were family conflicts open, or was there an “unwritten rule” not to talk about unpleasant things?
2. How did your parents deal with emotions? Did they show or hide them?
3. Do you have any specific emotions associated with a particular family member?
4. What emotion do you most dislike? How do your family members deal with this emotion?
5. Are there emotions that were sometimes "unacceptable" in your family?

Think about what you can do to resolve the situation. Sometimes you may feel that you cannot control your emotions because you cannot find a solution to the situation that is causing you these negative feelings.

This can lead to constant psychological pressure where you become obsessed with a single negative idea or feeling. Try to focus on specific things you can change about your situation.

For example, a simple idea of ​​problems at work might look like this: “What is wrong with me? Why do I never succeed? Why can't I do it right? ". These vague, general ideas are very unproductive and useless.

Instead, write a list of things you can decide. For example, you might talk to your boss about how to be more productive, reach out to a more experienced colleague for help, or focus on stress management techniques that will make you feel better at work.

Basically there are things that you cannot decide on your own, they are not up to you. It's important to accept this. For example, if you have a colleague who feels bad and uncomfortable with everyone, unfortunately you will not change his behavior. You can talk to him about how his behavior is affecting you, but you have to accept that he can handle it in his own way. If you get rid of the idea of ​​"fixing" or "controlling" all elements of the situation, you will feel much better.

Naturally, it is important for every person to learn how to control their emotions, but there is no need to try to suppress and deny them, doing it regularly. When you suppress your emotions, you can provoke the development of physical illnesses and serious psycho-emotional problems.

At the same time, it should be borne in mind that many emotional problems are so complex that they require the professional help of an experienced psychologist or social worker.

Video to the material

Emotions are what makes us human. But sometimes the manifestation of feelings is completely inappropriate, interferes with thinking sensibly and leads to mistakes. You cannot (and should not!) keep yourself from experiencing certain emotions. But it must be manifested and expressed at the right time and in the right place. Use your feelings constructively and don't let them ruin everything you've been working towards for so long.

Don't rock yourself

Adjust the degree of your emotions like the temperature on a thermostat. Not too hot, not too cold - just right to feel good. This applies to both good and bad emotions.

An overabundance of excitement can be inappropriate, as well as overly aggressive or depressive behavior.

People who know how to control their emotions try all the time to avoid disharmony in their state of mind.

Stop to reflect

Do you feel like you are "boiling"? This is a dangerous condition, and you need to put yourself in order as soon as possible. Instead of reacting to the situation immediately, think about what tools and solutions can be used. Cool down and reflect on what happened, regaining your focus and ability to analyze. Hasty decisions often bring a bitter feeling of regret. On the other hand, a short pause will help you focus on the most important and choose an effective and tactful way to solve the problem.

Avoid emotional overload

Emotional overload is a situation in which a certain feeling completely overwhelms you. This condition is accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, increased breathing, trembling knees, sweating, and nausea. Do you feel something similar? This is a clear sign that you are emotionally overwhelmed. Instead of going with the flow and giving up, brace yourself! Process the information in parts, gradually coming to your senses. You can evaluate the result with a sober look.

Practice deep breathing

The reaction of the body to emotional overload directly affects all the muscles of the body. You experience tension, after which you will definitely feel overwhelmed. To avoid such surges, practice deep breathing. It will oxygenate your brain and help you relax. The technique is very simple: stop doing anything, close your eyes and inhale very slowly through your nose, counting five seconds. Hold your breath for another two seconds, and then exhale just as slowly through your mouth, counting to five again. Repeat at least 10 times.

Avoid emotional company

People are known to easily communicate their emotions to others. That is why you should avoid those who see only the negative in everything: you will borrow the same point of view without even noticing. The same applies to overly emotional people. If you want to control your feelings and be in harmony, you should distance yourself from those who can be called drama queens.

Think about the solution, not the problem

A negative reaction to a difficult situation is one of the most common problems associated with emotions. Feeling sad or angry as a reaction to changed circumstances is normal, but not rational.

You can not stop thinking about the problem, you need to use the time to think through a plan for the next action.

Make a list of possible solutions, be creative and . During work, emotions will fade into the background, you will emerge from the situation as a winner.

In contact with

Classmates

Today, controlling your emotions at work is considered not just good form. In some companies and areas of activity, the ability to control oneself is a prerequisite for employment. What it really costs, and how to control your emotions at work without harm to the psyche, will tell Women's magazine Charla.

Special signs of “unobtrusive Russian service” have long sunk into the past: now you rarely see a seller standing behind the counter “in the pose of a sugar bowl” and yelling at the buyer. Large firms that serve customers and have large teams educate employees through a variety of corporate trainings and seminars. As a result, we are increasingly greeted with polite smiles and a friendly attitude. Employees within the team seem to effortlessly maintain impartiality and restraint.

As already mentioned, restraint and ability to manage emotions in our time is a good form. In some areas, employees are required to smile and have a positive attitude towards customers (salespeople, waiters, etc.). In other areas, on the contrary, it is necessary to behave impartially and it is better not to show any emotions at all (doctors, lawyers, etc.).

According to special studies, the suppression of emotions is quite exhausting and depresses the psyche, and ostentatious friendliness is somewhat easier than the eternal "poker face".

But we are all human beings. Sometimes excessive demands or unfair reproaches from superiors can bring us to tears. The stupidity of colleagues and the nagging of clients cause a desire to scream, slam the fist on the table, or even move on to more radical actions. It is clear that even if we manage to restrain such reactions by an effort of will, it takes a lot of energy. And if such cases are repeated and repeated day after day?

The same studies showed that even just staying calm at work is so tiring that the work itself becomes less productive by the middle of the day. What to say about the reaction of the body to the constant suppression and containment of anger or resentment?

So what, give free rein to emotions and smash everything around to smithereens, you ask? If it were possible and would not entail the payment of claims for damaged property and injuries, then yes, it would be good for our psyche. But besides the listed troubles, such behavior can attract followers ... and then the world around will turn into chaos.

What to do? Learn to competently restrain yourself, consciously control outbursts of anger and resentment at the initial stage, learn to give vent to feelings away from prying eyes. Psychologists say that the essence of controlling emotions is not to successfully suppress them, but to control them. Unclear? Let's try it easier.

If you are pissed off, and at the same time you keep a straight face, hold back your feelings and do not give them any outlet at all - this cannot be called ability to control emotions. If you are trying to figure out why someone else’s act or words hurt you so much, admit to yourself that this person “got you” and you know ways to “let off steam” - this is control and management.

That is, the essence of control is this: you need to admit to yourself that you feel something at all, and not suppress any feelings. You need to admit to yourself that you have now experienced negative emotions and do not blame yourself for it. It is required to understand in the most thorough way why this particular situation or person caused precisely such emotions. Give emotions an outlet.

How to control your emotions at work: Annoyance

No matter how hard we try to keep the Christian commandments, we will not be able to “love” all our neighbors indiscriminately. There will always be someone who will annoy us just by their appearance, without any, it would seem, reasons.

If there is such a person in your environment and you have to constantly contact him (that is, you cannot just not communicate with him), psychologists advise first of all to try to understand what in him or in his behavior irritates you so much. This is not easy. Because some irritants act, as it were, gradually, not yielding to simple analysis. But it is necessary to clarify the situation.

If you have managed to determine the cause, it is not at all forbidden to tell the colleague who is acting so badly on you about it. Just talking and finding out the reasons for his behavior is enough for him to stop annoying you. If you can’t immediately understand the reason, try to look at the person, learn more about him, put yourself in his place. Then it will be easier to find the irritant. Or maybe you learn something about him that will distract you from irritable thoughts about him, and you will stop reacting like that.

In any case, it is important to understand that any work on oneself, as in our case, learning to control emotions at work, is a daily and painstaking work that will take enough time and effort. If you do not give laziness a chance and are really interested in success, you will succeed.

Psychologists believe that even people whose irritability is due to temperament (read: nature) may well learn to control themselves. And this must be done, otherwise everyday irritation can develop into a stronger and more destructive feeling - anger.

How to Control Your Emotions at Work: Anger

Anger is one of the strongest emotions, very difficult to control. Suppressing anger takes a lot of energy and still it cannot be said that in the end it is completely successful.

If you have ever been angry, you probably remember how you felt at the “boiling point” moment and as it cooled down. Emotions are ready to splash over the edge, consciousness does not reason, does not analyze causes and consequences. Hands tremble, legs buckle, eyes are looking for someone to “break away” and throw out bursting feelings. When the anger passes, a reaction occurs: lethargy, emptiness, drowsiness. What kind of productive work can we talk about here?

Work on controlling anger must also begin with yourself. First of all, psychologists advise you to understand what feeling you are really experiencing, is it really anger? Maybe it's fear or another feeling, which, as it were, disguises itself as anger and anger? Then it would also be good to understand the real causes of anger and analyze the situation.

Anger is the emotion that needs to be thrown out, otherwise it will eat you from the inside. Of course, this obviously should not be done, but you can turn your feelings in a slightly different direction. For example, connect your imagination and present a vivid picture of the massacre of the culprit of your anger.

Imagine how you rebuff him, do not be afraid of fantasies, the brighter they are, the faster you will get rid of the negative.

If there is no opportunity to go out and indulge in fantasies at the moment, and you feel that you are about to lose your temper, try to just speak more quietly and slowly, follow this on purpose, focus your attention on the rhythm of speech and the pitch of your voice. This can cool your anger, help you switch a little, smooth out emotions. If there is an opportunity to retire, try to relieve psychological stress with the help of: do some exercises, just climb the stairs several times at a fast pace. Physical activity is generally very desirable for those who experience and at the same time have to hide negative emotions on a daily basis.

You have probably heard that in Japan, in many large corporations, full-length portraits of their bosses are installed. These "allowances" are designed to ensure that any employee can express in the face of the authorities, everything that he thinks about him. And then embed once.

At first glance, it seems that this is quite wild. But psychologists say that this is a great way out of the situation. After all, if you look, the boss is a person even more busy and burdened with responsibilities than you. He has a lot more stressful situations and annoying factors than you. That is, he often simply does not have time to consciously control his actions, words, etc.

In a good company, of course, the bosses are quite competent in this regard and trained control your emotions at work, but they are also people and sometimes they can accidentally break loose. And they don't have time to talk to you, to explain something, to apologize. Therefore, they do not mind at all that employees deal with their, let's say, second “I”.

But splashing out emotions with the help of assault is rather the prerogative of men. Women are softer and more vulnerable creatures. This does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing anger, how capable they are! But for many of them, the intensity of emotions leads to banal tears.

How to control your emotions at work: tears

Tears are very hard to hold back. If we can close our jaws tightly to keep from saying too much, or clench our fists in our pockets to keep them out, then it's almost impossible to stop ourselves from crying.

First of all, again, psychologists advise, you need to understand why you have such a reaction to what is happening, for what reason you cannot control yourself? Perhaps long-term stress is to blame, extreme fatigue due to the large amount of work that has been hanging on you lately, poor health, illness, some kind of experience not related to work?

When the cause is found, it needs to be dealt with and eliminated as soon as possible. Never allow yourself to think that it is your fault that you are offended and brought to tears, do not blame yourself for this. Of course, an unrestrained person, accustomed to not hiding his emotions, most often seeks and finds exactly the object that allows him to be treated this way. That is, the screamer subconsciously feels that you will allow him, feels your vulnerability and unwillingness to fight back. But you are not to blame for this. It's his choice and his fault, not yours. However, you can not leave everything as it is.

If you react the way he expects, he will continue to terrorize you. You should change your behavior, do not give him the pleasure of seeing your pain and tears, resentment.

Easy to say but hard to do. And here psychologists suggest some simple ways to calm the tears that have come up and prevent yourself from crying. First, since you already know how everything can end, you need to be prepared for this. From the very beginning, try to step back from what is happening, to observe the situation from the outside. Let the offender yell or sting to his health, and you try not to think about his words, not to take them personally.

Try also to imagine him in some funny situation, you can even have fun in your thoughts, or even laugh out loud.

If you feel like you can't "take a hit" and your tears are close, turn your full attention to your breathing. Try to breathe in a bowl and not very deeply, focus on this, do not let experiences capture you and knock you out of rhythm. You can drink water, counting each sip you drink - this will make you distracted. These methods are also well suited if the cause of your tears is not a person, but some specific situation that deprives you of peace of mind.

Here, we have listed only some of the simplest ways to curb feelings and tried to explain why it is important to control your emotions at work, and not suppress them. For more in this direction, of course, it is worth studying the literature, maybe consult a psychologist or sign up for special courses.

The most important thing is to recognize the problem, to understand its importance for your mental and even physical health. This will be the first step to the ability to control yourself and competently cope with your emotions.

Alexandra Panyutina

How to control your emotions and what is it? Emotions are the prerogative of every mentally healthy person, but the difficulty lies in the fact that often we absolutely do not understand how to control them.

Inefficient Methods

Almost constantly, we turn to tried and tested ways to manage emotions.

Young men very often resort to computer games, strong drinks and cigarettes.

Girls try to curb their own emotions through food or shopping.

There's nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't happen all the time. But in most cases, we actually use such not very good methods on a daily basis. Ultimately, we have problems with relationships, job responsibilities and well-being.

Ways to control emotions

What are rational ways to control emotions?

There are some postulates that should not be forgotten.

1. Emotions are not your choice, since they are the responsibility of that part of the gray matter that is beyond our control.
2. Emotions are not governed by ethical standards. These are emotions, and nothing more.
3. You are responsible for your own emotions.
4. You are able to curb emotions, but you are not able to eradicate them.
5. Emotions often lead a person to the wrong path. But in some cases they can open up great prospects for us. It all depends on what you intend to do.
6. The more you suppress them, the more intense they become.
7. The best way to get your emotions under control is to allow yourself to experience them.
8. Emotions feed your thoughts. You can use your thoughts to control your own emotions.
9. You need to become aware of your emotions, as well as what they signal, and in this way you will get rid of nervous shocks. Simply put, you need to brainstorm your emotions.
10. Every emotion has a hidden meaning. This meaning allows you to better understand yourself, even if you try not to show it. Take care of yourself and come to terms with all the emotions that you experience by living the appropriate state.
11. The way your mother and father responded to your emotions influences how you perceive them now. While you were developing as a person, your emotions underwent similar changes. They became more and more complex and distinct.
12. Your emotions have long sought to splash out. They do not evaporate, but grow inside, and all this is not devoid of a certain meaning.
13. If you want to better understand your own emotions, then you can not fence yourself off from them, so as not to allow disagreements with people.