How to fully control your emotions. How to control yourself and your emotions

People who can control themselves and their emotions are amazing. These are people who know how to remember their goals and not be distracted by trifles, who are able to act adequately when others lose their heads and who know how to remain calm in the most difficult situations.

Where does all this come from? No one will tell you exactly, I will share here what I personally came to in 30 years of researching this issue. Offhand, ten percent is what is determined by our physiology. Children are born different, people have character accentuations. The excitable type cannot cope with his impulsiveness, the labile type is subject to moods, he is afraid of everything, he scares everyone with his anger, changes in the hormonal background change the nature and type of emotional response.

The rest, that is, 90%, is given by education - and self-education. There are three basic habits that give us control over our emotions, and it is not difficult for you to assess for yourself how much these habits are already yours.

The first habit is the habit of keeping a cheerful format, and not getting upset and sour. This is what any army starts with when accepting recruits: standing still, not lounging, turning your shoulders and not slouching, eyes on the commander, and not wandering around, listening to what they say, and not being distracted, answering what is supposed to be, and not grumble or complain. The movements are clear and energetic, the eyes are attentive, the intonations are peppy. When this is inscribed into the body during months of training, the body will stop rattling and begin to obey the owner. This is what creates the real basis of self-control.

This is an extremely simple and absolutely clear sign: either a person owns his body and is used to controlling it, or not. If there is no physical control, psychological self-control is also impossible. You see a rattling in the body - you will not be mistaken in assuming impulsive reactions, mood swings and uncontrolled emotions in a person. In this case, the body completely determines the features of our behavior.

Hint: if you are not in the army, then the most useful thing at hand for the development of the body format is dancing. And, more broadly - sports! Look Love your child - accustom him to sports! continuation

The third habit is the habit of acting constructively in any difficult situation, and not giving up. Experiential people mess around when things are going well and suffer when problems arise. Active people live differently. If there are problems, active people turn on their heads and solve them. If the problems are solved and everything is in order, active people move forward towards the goals. What lifestyle do you prefer?

In total, your habits and life principles are simple: I never give up, I always think, always in business. And - cheerfully forward!

Note that these habits are not psychological at all: they have no depth, no mystery, they are simple as a stool. This is what surprised me the most in successful businessmen: they don’t know (and don’t want to know) what it means to “accept what happened”, “live”, “scooping out pluses”, keeping a “success diary” and other traditional psychological techniques for normalizing the internal state : They don't seem to need them. That's right, it is. If these three basic habits are built into you, you are confidently protected from most negative experiences and do not need psychological help.

Yes, you really don't need it. Tanks are not afraid of dirt. What bothers and burdens others does not bother you: you solve problems as they arise and calmly move on.

NEVER GIVE UP HANDS.
I ALWAYS THINK.
ALWAYS IN WORK!

If you haven’t developed these habits yet, you need to move in two directions at the same time: still master these habits and at the same time master the science of practical psychology. I can put it more clearly. Choose:

Either master these three simple skills, or you will spend your whole life sorting out your complex psychological problems.

In everyday life between people, due to the difference in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to the excessive emotionality of a person and the lack of self-control. emotions? How to "take over" your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.

What is self-control for?

Restraint and self-control is something that many people lack. This comes with time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions, and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that it is necessary and find agreement with your own "I".

Control over emotions does not allow aggravation of the conflict situation, allows you to find with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary for building relationships with people, whether business partners or relatives, children, lovers.

The impact of negative emotions on life

Disruptions and scandals, in which negative energy is released, adversely affect not only the people around, but also the instigator of conflict situations. your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.

Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder the normal development of the individual and career growth. After all, few people want to cooperate / communicate / live with a person who does not control himself and, at every opportunity, starts a large-scale scandal. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then soon he will leave her.

In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give vent to negative emotions. The child will feel every word spoken by the parent in the heat of anger, and subsequently remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.

Negative emotions also have a big impact on business and work activities. The team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore self-control plays an important role here: negativity can spill out at any moment when a person is put under pressure, they are required to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue, where the parties can reach a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to restrain emotions in the workplace? Do not respond to the provocations of employees, try to start a casual conversation, agree with the authorities in everything, even if the tasks set are difficult to accomplish.

Suppression of emotions

Constantly holding yourself back within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity in itself, and therefore, the risk of developing psychological diseases increases. It is necessary to “splash out” the negative from time to time somewhere, but in such a way that the feelings of other people do not suffer. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to the inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negative quickly disappears.

For the release of negative energy, wrestling, boxing, hand-to-hand combat are suitable. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relieved and he will not want to take it out on anyone. However, it should be borne in mind that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.

Two ways to keep your emotions in check:

• Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do it, but, of course, not in the truest sense of the word. At that moment, when you become uncomfortable from communicating with him, do mentally with this person whatever you want.
• Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the leaf and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.

Prevention

How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives such an answer to this question: in order to control one's feelings and emotions, prevention is necessary, in other words, emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, avoid conflicts.

Prevention is the most gentle and optimal way to control emotions. It does not require additional training of a person and the intervention of a specialist. Preventive measures allow you to protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns for a long time.

The main thing that helps to get the better of your emotions - over your own life. When a person is satisfied with everything in his home, work, relationships, and he understands that at any moment he can influence and adjust all this for himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number of preventive rules that help manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow simple rules.

Unfinished business and debt

Complete all the planned tasks in a short time, do not leave the work unfinished - this can cause a delay in deadlines, provoking negative emotions. Also, "tails" can be reproached, point out your incompetence.

In financial terms, try to avoid delays in payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from reaching your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity, helplessness in the face of the circumstances.

The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and forces, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the other hand, is a hindrance to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.

Cosiness

Create a comfortable workplace for yourself, equip your home according to your own taste. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should be comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.

Time planning

Try to competently make plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have both time and resources for the implementation of the tasks set a little more than you need. This will avoid the negative associated with the constant lack of time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.

Communication and workflow

Avoid contact with unpleasant people who waste your personal time. In particular, with individuals who are called "energy vampires" - they take not only time, but also your strength. If possible, try not to intersect with overly temperamental people, as any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to control your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, do not overreact to criticism.

If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your place of work. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and disorder of peace of mind.

Border marking

Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line beyond which no one, even the closest person, should cross. Make a set of rules that restrict people from interacting with you. Those who truly love, appreciate and respect you will accept such demands, and those who oppose the settings should not be in your environment. To communicate with outsiders, develop a special system that will avoid violation of your boundaries and the formation of conflict situations.

Physical activity and introspection

Playing sports will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Give sports from 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.

At the same time, analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you did the right thing in this or that situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether there was enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people that cause negativity. own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.

Positive emotions and prioritization

Develop the ability to switch from negative to positive emotions, try to see the positive side in any situation. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with relatives and strangers? Be positive, and this will help you defeat your own temper.

A well-chosen goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. Choose only realistic, achievable goals.

Environment

Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit in talking to them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious, you need to urgently change to switch to individuals who carry positive emotions. Of course, it is unrealistic to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the workspace.

In addition to changing the environment, expanding the circle of friends will help to achieve the development of self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.

- This integral part of human nature, they are what make us human, show that we have feelings.

Most importantly, they can determine how a person feels at the moment.

But not always an emotional expression is a plus. You need to be able to control your emotions and feelings. Let's find out how to do it.

An unemotional person: why is he like that? Learn about it from ours.

Ability to control yourself

Why doesn't everyone have the ability to control their emotions?

Every person has emotions and feelings. They are of two types: positive and negative.

But it is not always necessary to express them vehemently and vividly, even positive ones, not to mention the second kind. Sometimes it's inappropriate, this can be bad for relationships, work, etc.

Therefore, it is important to learn to control yourself and manage your emotions. But as practice shows, this is not so easy to do.

Not everyone can brag impeccable self-control and complete control over the situation. After all, we are all different and our reactions are also different. Not everyone can immediately pull themselves together and hide what they feel at the moment.

But you need to not only learn how to mask and restrain emotions, but also not to take it out on others.

To achieve a result, it is worth practicing special techniques that will help even someone who, as they say, has "it's written on the face".

Emotional regulation of behavior - what is it?

What is this concept in psychology?

Our emotions drive us to certain pattern of behavior.

Everyone has different emotions can manifest themselves in different ways, but the meaning remains the same.

This or that emotion will be similarly expressed in everyone. This is called a form of behavior.

Behavior regulation comes from emotions, but at the same time, it exists in opposition to those same emotions. All volitional acts are performed in spite of human emotions, all actions are done in spite of any feelings and sensations.

The lower the level of this self-regulation in a person, the more his emotions will take over him. That is, emotional regulation of behavior is the ability to control oneself, no matter what.

How to learn to restrain your emotions and feelings?

To learn to control your emotions and feelings, you need to master certain techniques that with regular training will give a positive result.

Anger considered the strongest human emotion, it destroys everything in its path. Anger destroys a person not only from the inside, but can also harm relationships with others.

But you can control your emotions if you know how.

Methods and techniques for self-regulation of the state

We are all human and we all have emotions. But sometimes these emotions are much make life difficult for us.

You can’t hold back your feelings all the time, the accumulation of negative emotions is fraught with bad consequences not only for health, but also for loved ones.

For example, if every time someone at work causes a continuous negative, it accumulates and one day the anger turns into real anger, which is not very good. Also, a person who is in constant tension, can break out on loved ones.

So that negative emotions do not greatly affect life, you need to learn to see them, and then live them wisely and let them go so that they do not carry anything bad in your life and are not displayed on relationships and health.

You can’t “swallow” everything that makes you unhappy, that. Therefore, it is important to learn self-regulation.

This will help certain methods that are aimed directly at ensuring that a person I learned to control my emotional state.

training

Now there is a wide variety of lectures, trainings and seminars which are aimed at self-regulation of the emotional state.

Such events are usually carried out by people who have a positive experience in this matter. Different trainings may have a different program, it all depends on the person who conducts it.

But they have one common goal- teach the audience to independently control their emotions, to manage them correctly.

Usually the training begins with an introduction, it can be a small lecture, voicing the main questions that need to be answered. Then everyone gets to know each other, introduce themselves, can even talk about their problem and how it interferes with their lives.

It is filled with various games, which will help people practice in controlling their emotional state.

During practice, all participants can be divided into several teams, if conditions so require.

Emotion management techniques

Some people find it very difficult to contain their emotions or even manage them properly. But you have to do it because not everyone likes excessive emotionality.

Often, people who find it difficult to control their emotions have a difficult time in a team, especially for those whose work is closely related to society.

This activity requires a lot of emotional input. But feelings are not always positive, so it is advisable to keep the extra negative to yourself and not demonstrate it.

How to control yourself at the right time?

At the level of the body

At the level of consciousness

The most effective way is to "pause the conversation." If there are feelings of irritation, anger, anger, etc., then the best option would be to simply ask to postpone the conversation for a while.

Thus, you can buy time for yourself to think things over carefully and find the right words.

Application of imagination

Techniques that use the imagination:

Our imagination is considered a pretty powerful weapon in the fight against the control of emotions, it gives unlimited space:

External control

There are situations when feelings just go wild and it becomes difficult to contain them.

If there is a piece of paper at hand, then you can tear it into small pieces, squeeze or crumple, in general, do what calms you.

If it is not possible to do this manipulation, then you can draw some abstract drawings in a notebook, while trying to apply pressure on the pen / pencil as much as possible. Just try to do it as discreetly as possible for your interlocutor.

Maybe, you can be comforted by what you love. For example, you can drink your favorite drink, eat a snack or listen to music. In general, do what makes you a little bit, which always does.

Exercises

During unpleasant situations, a person usually has “written on his face” his attitude to the circumstances.

It is known that emotional and physical state are interconnected. Therefore, it is worth controlling both.

If it is difficult to control your emotional state, then this can be easily learned. A number of special techniques and exercises will help each person to be more restrained in their emotions or vice versa to show them more.

How to learn to control emotions and not succumb to provocations:

All things, objects, all living beings are all one energy. There were yogis on Earth who could eat nails. That is, simply put, it does not matter what is, because it is all one single energy. And they didn't see the difference between eating nails and eating bananas. They are just different forms of the same energy.

It is difficult to understand and even more difficult to accept and realize.

The earth met many such people who could do what an ordinary person cannot. It all seems strange, mysterious, stupid and implausible to us, but who knows how it really is.

This is beyond our minds, but does it mean that it is not so?

But it's not just about visible and tangible objects. This also applies to our feelings and emotions, thoughts. It is all one energy. Fear comes from the same energy as joy. But they simply appear in various forms that are understandable to us, our body, our body, our mind.

You can imagine a beautiful sexy woman or man (depending on what gender you are) and after a while you will feel the reaction of your body. But there is no one around, you are alone. Why is this happening? Your thoughts have become the source of change in the body. You imagined, you thought, and you got a physical reaction in response. Everything is born in us.

Accordingly, we ourselves can control our emotions and reactions to them. But that's okay. Let's look further.

Let's continue with sexual energy. By itself, it is of little use to us. This is the desire of the opposite sex. But in it, as I have said more than once on the pages of the site, great power hidden. But how to make it so that you feel it for yourself.

One of the ways to transform it and transform it for possible use is the method of focusing on the energy of this feeling.

How to learn to control your emotions?

You don't need to do anything special for this. The energy of emotion itself will do everything.

Our task is simply to feel the emotion or feeling as energy in the body. And she transforms herself.

This applies not only to sexual energy. This also works with feelings of fear, despair, sadness, disappointment. This applies to all feelings and emotions. From the point of view of energy, all emotions are no different from each other.

Emotion can be felt inside your body.

Just like you could feel the energy of sexual arousal, you can just try to feel the energy of fear when you are very scared. Just stop and listen carefully to yourself. You will understand that this emotion is concentrated somewhere in one place of your body, it can be felt as something that is inside you.

This is not just something abstract, you will clearly feel it. It is right here and now right in this place.

It is the sensation, the perception of one's emotion as energy, that transforms and transforms it.

Our worries and worries do not arise out of the blue, but always have their own reasons for this. And they concern us the most. We think about the causes of fear, about who or who caused it. About the consequences. Thus, we drive ourselves even more into it. As I said, all emotions are born in us. We are their sources.

You need to discard unnecessary thoughts regarding stories associated with emotion. You just need to concentrate on the feeling itself, as in our example, fear.

Transformation practice. Meditation.

How to learn to control your emotions through meditation? The transformation is best done in the form .

Let's try.

Purpose of Meditation. Feel the emotion as energy, as created from it, direct your attention to it.

We do not think about how to transform energy or sublimate it when it comes to sexual energy. We simply focus our attention on emotions as energy. And that's it. The transformation happens by itself.

For meditation, let's try to use the energy of fear. Although, of course, you can try to remember those moments in your life when you were very happy about something. Choose any emotion you want.

Remember that this is just energy. She has no characteristics, neither good nor bad.

I will now try to describe the process of meditation, you will understand how it is done and you can practice it without any problems.

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