Why don't men keep their promises? Why Men Don't Keep Their Promises The inability to say no.
For a long time, there has been a law among men: if you can call it that, no one can know why they do not keep their promises. In fact, this is actually true, because practically everyone knows that most men do not keep their promise or simply simply forget about what they promised, and then they will start to get out, thereby deceiving you.
There are other opinions, and it is impossible to divide people into different characters. Women do not keep their promises, not only men. Let's stop being frank, because a woman also loves to tell a story, embellish it, gossip. And then all you hear is: "Mine did not fulfill what he promised." If you think about it in reality, then men don’t talk about this at all. But if we started talking about this topic, then it is worth continuing.
Let's try to figure out the reason for everything, but it will be difficult to do this. It can be called a special science, which for the most part we will not overcome. If we can understand it, or at least partially understand its mechanism, then we can also partially get rid of the illusion, especially if it haunts you. If you can get rid of this kind of illusion, you will thereby also get rid of the burden of experience, of everything that goes after them. Let's try to start from the very beginning so that it doesn't turn out to be porridge.
Find someone who enjoys being forced to do something. Naturally, no one likes this, and especially there are people who are extremely annoyed by this. If you find a man who can do this, and even more so if he has no desire for it, then believe that he will not put his soul into it. If we take a different situation, then ideally he himself should reach this point, and he himself should want it. If this did not happen in the end, then on, then you and the woman are to push him on the right path, and make sure that what you have in mind becomes his desire. Always try to do such actions correctly, as a lot can depend on this. In the end, everything should turn out exactly the way you wanted. You can give your husband an ultimatum or demonstrate feminine gentleness, using psychology and tricks.
In such a situation, you need to find a moment. There are times when both moments can be good at the same time. The main thing here is not to confuse them, and not to aggravate the situation that has arisen using the completely wrong method. Hoping that the husband will certainly keep this promise is not worth it. Men have a law: "Promise and not keep what you promised." This law has been confirmed more than once.
For example: a girl is waiting for a good moment when her lover or husband fails her “task” and eventually says: “But I knew that you couldn’t be trusted with anything.” Such an action in the future will definitely push him to keep the promise. In another way, he will take revenge and prove that he knows how to keep his word. As a result, it will demonstrate the possibilities and strengths. Or he doesn’t want to disappoint her, thereby starting to help her in everything she asks.
If you take it from a different point of view, then you can always listen to what the husband says, eventually believing in the reason for his failure to fulfill the promise. Then say: “Well, of course!”. Naturally, he may say that he did not want to, but such an answer will no longer be masculine. You will tell him in response that this is not at all masculine. He will definitely remember this for a long time. If he can bring serious arguments and say that he can fulfill the promise, but later, then you can safely know that you conquered him. After all, everything can be reached with a calm conversation and a simple conversation. Rather than start immediately yelling at him, thereby forgetting that he is your husband. If next time this happens again, you can safely remind him of this, or say that no one pulled his tongue when he made a promise. Since you promised, please do it!
Understanding that a man does not keep what he promised can sometimes be wrong, because sometimes he does it only because he does not want to offend his beloved, and therefore he promises, doing so so as not to offend or upset her. The reason for this is love. After all, to see how his beloved is offended, and to become sad, immediately throws many tasks on herself, which in the end she cannot do. Of course, this does not justify a man, but it happens. If you have a similar case, then the chance that he will fulfill the promise is zero.
You must clearly understand all aspects of human choice, and if he promised, while there was no pressure from your side on him, then let him do it.
What you read, in fact, may not always be feasible, because a lot depends on the specific situation. You should not forget about male friendship. You appointed him a trip to a cafe for a certain time, and on the way to him he met a very close or old friend. Of course, he will not change this for you, but he will also need to talk a little with him, ask about his life. In essence, this is correct. Most likely, in his place, you would have done the same, but there is a huge difference between you. If it were your husband, he would not have said a word to you on this occasion, but on the contrary, you began to oppress him, having previously been upset.
Consider also another point: the interval between which the time passes before the “signing of a certain agreement” and the implementation plan, all this time you give a kind of credit of trust. During this time, he feels as if he has already fulfilled what he promised, and that you will treat him well.
Here, by analogy, the principle of drugs is used, he first gets high, and only then comes withdrawal. Breaking by the way will be in both cases.
From what I've read, it's time to draw a conclusion.
All men are not robots. Everything they do according to your requirements is what they can do and sometimes so as not to upset you. Often they fail to do so. If he can't do something, don't demand it from him. Here the point is not in the task, and not in its complexity, and even more so not in the time frame in which he will need to do it.
Men lack women's faith. Sex and food are not all they need. They want to understand and know exactly what you are proud of and appreciate. Give them a break at least sometimes, and he will always try to please you with his actions.
Surely, everyone is familiar with situations from childhood when they were promised something, but then, for some reason, it did not work out. These feelings are hard to forget. But with age, it seems that it was all there, in childhood, and now, when you grow up, these are all trifles. But no. Today you promise your child to go for a walk with him, but you stay at home. Tomorrow, the child will promise to do something, perhaps important, and will not do it. It will be insulting, unpleasant and, possibly, ruin all plans. Keep your promises, start with yourself and subsequently everyone will consider you a man of your word.
Promise?
Everyone is equally often faced with the fact that they are required to assure about something. This is such a psychological setting that reinforces the words spoken. It helps to be more confident in those people with whom you have to do business and have common interests. For the most part, people say “I promise” without even thinking about fulfilling the promise. Therefore, there is an imposition of inconsistencies: one person asked again, clarifying, and the second, without thinking, assured. The result is a broken promise and broken trust. To consolidate the image of a responsible person, you should be guided by one rule: "Never promise what you cannot deliver."
Before making a promise
Before promising anything, you should think about whether it will be possible to fulfill the promise? Will it be necessary then to live in the rhythm of “break into a cake, but do it” or will just small efforts be enough? Let's think. When a person says that he promises something, the obligatory fulfillment is of course implied. And, accordingly, the other person will count on him. And in this case, neglect will play a negative role, violating the relationship between people. Therefore, before making promises, you need to decide: they are in the category of feasible, or those that you cannot fulfill.
This promise
If a complex promise has already been made, then let's see what can be done. The “break into a cake, but do it” option is undoubtedly interesting, but not viable. This promise must be kept, but if the situation is such that it will not be possible to fulfill it, it is better to explain it right away. Because the more time passes, the more the other person expects to fulfill. Moreover, if the matter is urgent, an agreement without implementation can cause a conflict.
How to perform?
First you need to find out what actions and costs will be needed to keep the promise. If it is possible to do this quickly and without harm to anyone, then you need to act. If you keep the promise as early as possible, it will allow you to strengthen yourself as a responsible and reliable person. To keep a promise that will require additional effort and action to keep, you must first make a plan and only then begin to fulfill it. The fulfillment of the promised increases the trust of people and gives a kind of guarantee that the promises given to you will also be fulfilled.
A tough and sincere answer that you should know.
What we get without effort, we do not appreciate.
Have you ever paid more for groceries than they cost? If, for example, the price of a loaf of bread is 18 rubles, and you give 23 rubles at the checkout, it’s ridiculous and ridiculous, right? It is even difficult to imagine such a thing.
How do you feel about free offers on the street? You are walking down the street, a man comes up to you and says: take happiness for free, just like that, because I am good. Will you believe?
Why am I saying all this? That's what.
How does a man form an idea of \u200b\u200bthe value of your relationship?
When a man easily, without straining, gets everything he needs from you simply because you are good, he does not form an idea of \u200b\u200byour value. If you are ready to sleep, meet, wait, try, forgive just because you have been waiting for him for so long, this infringes on your dignity.
A man develops the knowledge that you were like that with everyone, you don’t value yourself, you can be late with you, lie, not keep your promises ... And tell me, why marry you if you already give him everything that a wife should fulfill? To always be there for you? May he always be as good as he is now?
There is one problem here. What we do not spend our efforts on does not arouse our long-term interest. Are you the coolest person in his life? May be. But the coolest is usually the most expensive. Both financially and in terms of effort. And do not forget that a man is initially, on an instinctive level, a hunter. Therefore, agreeing and giving him all of yourself just because he has blue eyes, or beautiful hands, or he is so touching and kind, you initially doom your relationship to failure!
Listen to your inner voice!
I am sure that every woman somewhere inside has a feeling that tells her what she is doing wrong. It chills when it wants to stop you from doing something that will later be unpleasant to remember. As agreed, no matter what. How she listened to excuses and believed, although she understood that this should not be so. When I felt that he had changed, that he was different, but continued to persuade myself that he was just busy ...
“How did you manage to be with a person who insulted you, humiliated you, who spoiled you 12 years of your life for so long?” I once asked my client. She replied, “I felt sorry for my efforts. I regretted the time I wasted on it. It seemed to me that so much effort should not be in vain ... ". It turns out that no matter how a man treats a woman, if she puts a lot of effort, faith, hope, money into relationships, he is still valuable to her. Despite the fact that he did not show himself!
It's just a paradox...
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“False promises are more annoying than outright refusals,” said the French lexicographer Pierre Boiste. Each of us has friends and acquaintances who systematically let others down and do not fulfill the promise. Or maybe you have noticed this behavior in yourself. Optionality often becomes a character trait, but there are different reasons for it. Therefore, first of all, it is worth finding the source of the problem, and only then look for a solution.
We are in website analyzed some cases of optionality in order to understand where it came from and what to do if someone's promises are not worth a penny.
1. Out of friendship
The first thing to do if you have someone around you who feeds you promises instead of dessert is to talk. Banal but effective advice. Perhaps the fact that for you unfulfilled promises and disrespect for yourself, for another person is a manifestation of understanding and the depth of friendship. Someone else needs to invent and explain this, but you can be refused at the last moment - you are “your people, you will understand everything”. In this case, it is worth discussing your ideas about trust and obligations and taking steps towards them. You - do not take everything to heart, and a friend - to reckon with your feelings.
In addition, the conversation will help to understand the reasons for optional behavior. After all, if someone just needs help and support, then it’s time to put the other person in his place.
2. Inability to say "no"
One of the most common reasons for broken promises is the simple inability to say no. Many were brought up with the idea that people need help, so a person strives to promise everyone his time, care and help. And then it turns out that there are more promises than hours in the day and strength inside. If you encounter such a person, let him know that any of your requests can be rejected immediately and honestly, this is much better than politely promising something that you cannot fulfill.
3. Laziness
Also, laziness often tells us to forget about the promised. It seemed that there was so much enthusiasm when he agreed, and when the time came, a small task turned into such a huge problem in the eyes of the one who promised that the mere thought of fulfilling his word was annoying. In this case, you should not ask a person for something anymore - it is unlikely that next time he will not want to suddenly sleep an extra hour or watch a movie instead of, for example, meeting you from the plane. Laziness in such people is not a periodic weakness, but a lifestyle.
4. Desire to please
Another type of people who constantly make promises but never keep them are those who just want to look better in your eyes. Such people are usually not going to keep their word - they just splurge in order to get your favor. They have already prepared an ingenious excuse, to which not only you can’t dig, but after it you even want to help the sudden “sufferer”. In extreme cases, such people go on an aggressive offensive - they talk about the fact that no one owes anything to anyone and twist the situation so that you are still to blame. The advice here is the same - don't wait for anything else, but the main thing is not to feel bad about moving away from "such a good person." Remember, he did not "did so much for you", but "promised you so much in vain."
Women believe that men very rarely keep their word and keep their promises. It turns out that they are simply deceiving, which gives the ladies a lot of painful experiences. What is the reason for such behaviour?
As you know, few people like to be forced to do something. And if, at the same time, they are also luring the “word of honor” from him, then it is unlikely that the representative of the stronger sex will fulfill the promise with pleasure and putting his soul into it. In order for a man to fulfill his promises, he, ideally, must come to this himself and wish for it. If this does not work out, then a wise woman can direct her beloved so that he himself makes the right decision. By applying women's cunning and knowledge of male psychology, you can achieve wonderful results.
Sometimes men can simply forget about the promise, earning money, for example. He needs to be reminded of this next time. Often the representatives of the stronger sex can promise something in order not to upset their beloved. They do not want to see their other half sad and sad. This, of course, does not justify their irresponsible attitude.
It is important to remember that the promise that was squeezed out of a man by a woman will never be fulfilled. Each person has the right to choose, and it must always be understood that a word that is given under some kind of pressure should not have the right to be implemented.
Everything depends on the situation. For example, a man promised to go to a cafe or to the cinema, but suddenly a friend called him asking for help. Male friendship is sacred, and there can be no doubt about priority. A woman in this case, most likely offended and will not understand.
Often men can promise their ladies to do something for a specific time, and then just remember about it two hours later. The woman will wait all this time and be very angry. Therefore, for men who have problems with punctuality, it is better to speak in abstract phrases, for example, the other day, evening, next month, etc.
It is better for women not to bother too much on this topic. So they can not only make life easier, but also build relationships on a deeper level. You have to learn to accept men for who they are. And if something specifically does not suit you, what to discuss it with your loved one until he understands. When he does not understand, but it hurts you to the core with every failure to fulfill a promise, then perhaps you need to look for someone more efficient and reliable.
Do not ask a man for too much. It is better to think about why he does not have serious motivation to fulfill the promise. Perhaps men simply lack women's faith in their strength and reliability.
